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BEC写作:BEC名师点评网友作文:Write an email to your team

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  本期作文题目

  You need to inform your marketing team about a radio advertising campaign for one of your company's new products.

  Write an email to your team:

  * reminding tehm which new product it is

  * explaining why you've chosen to advertise on radio

  * saying what you expect the advertising campaign to achieve.

  Write 40-50 words.

  Sample:

  It is believed that everyone knows about our new product - TE 128, which will be launch ed recently. We will use radio advertising owing to our budget . I hope that the campaign will cover most of the cusomters we are having now and bring new ones.

  网友作文一:

  Dear All,

  Our new product advertising campain[1] for A02 auto-navigating instrument[2] is coming soon. As you know, radio is the most available for drivers. I believe we will make a gorgeous advertisement suitable for them.

  _________________________________________

  [1]这个名词结构太长了,另外主体不清楚啊。看清楚题目要求,先remind 大家一下,可以用很多表示提醒的结构。

  [2]英文中的"设备"有很多个词,这个词适合乐器,应该搭配musical instrument, 这个地方比较合适用facility 或者 equipment

  网友作文二:

  To: marketing team

  Fr: coco218

  Date: Dec. 15th,2008

  Subject:a radio advertising campaign for new products

  Dear teammate,

  A new mobile phone[1] will be the next NEW ARRIVAL.And it will be advertised on radio because of our short of money[2] .I hope our marketing team could make out an attactive advertisement and the sale would hit 20% of the market share[3].

  Thanks.

  Regards.

  _________________________________________

  [1]这不对吧,你们公司原来不是做mobile phone 的?改为 new product 比较合适。

  [2]Shortage of money

  [3]画蛇添足,sale 就是可以冲击新高的,这和market share 有什么关系。

  网友作文三:

  To:All stuff

  From:Manager

  Date:Dec.16th 2008

  Subject:a radio advertisement of our new products

  I want to inform you our radio campaign for the new medicine.I think[1] many elders often listen to the radio and they are the are[2] in most need of our products,also advertising on radio is much cheaper than on TV,we can have more profits[3] or bring down the price[4].

  Thank you.

  _________________________________________

  [1]去掉这种主观的表达。直接用后面的主语开头。

  [2]改为the ones

  [3]Maximize the margins.

  [4]去掉

  网友作文四:

  To: Marketing team

  From: Alvin

  Subject: radio advertising campaign for inverter transformer

  Dear All,

  The inverter transformer[1], as a new product of our company, need an advertisment now. Taking the aim customers'[2] habit into consideration, we decide to advertise on radio. We expect to make people accept our new product and get sale amount of 5 million USD within the first two months.

  Thanks!

  Best Regards!

  _________________________________________

  [1]既然是个产品,首字母应该大写

  [2]这个叫target customer

  网友作文五:

  To: all salesmen

  From: Joe Lee, Marketing Manager

  Subject: launching an ad on radio

  I would like to inform all of you that I decide[1] to launch the advertisement of our new product of earphone on radio in that students are one of the major audience of radio and they are also our main consumers.[2]

  _________________________________________

  [1]改为:it is decided that.....

  [2]整个句子太长了

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