On Dieting 关于节食
Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a composition on the topic On Dieting. You should write at least 150 words, and base your composition on the outline (given in Chinese) below:
1)现在有越来越多人的选择节食,有的人是为了健康,但是更多的人是为了有一个苗条的身材
2)分析节食减肥可能带来的影响
3)你的建议
On Dieting
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行文思路
本题属于提纲式文字命题。提纲第1点指出一种现象并要求说明原因,提纲第2点要求分析这种现象可能带来的影响,提纲第3点要求针对该现象提出“我”的建议,由此可判断本文应为现象解释型作文。
根据所给提纲,本文应包含如下内容:描述越来越多的人节食的现象并分析主要原因;阐述节食不当可能带来的影响;针对节食给出“我”的建议。
高分范文
On Dieting
Nowadays more and more people are beginning to go on a diet. Some people are concerned with their health, and they go on a diet in order to lose unwanted weight. But still others, [1]especially the young women, are paying too much attention to their outward appearance. They [2]become the leading numbers who go on a diet.
[3]However, dieting might [4]bring great negative effects on people. [3]For one thing, quite a lot of people don’t really need dieting to keep health, and they diet just because they want to keep slim. For them, dieting [5]not only is useless but also might damage their health. [3]For another, some people lack enough knowledge on how to diet scientifically. [3]As a result, they are likely to suffer from malnutrition.
[6]Considering the serious damage of unhealthy dieting, we should be cautious in dieting. [3]In my opinion, dieting,[7]for whatever reasons, needs professional guidance. [8]Only with right guidance can dieting work [9]as we expect.
现在越来越多人在节食。一些人担心自己的健康,所以通过节食来减掉超过的体重。但也有一些人,特别是女人,对她们外表太在意了。她们成为了节食人群的主导者。
但是,节食会对人们带来很多负面影响。一方面,大部分人都不需要真的节食来保持健康,他们只是想保持苗条身材。对于他们来说,节食不仅没有用反而对他们的健康造成伤害。另一方面,一些人对怎么科学的节食不是很了解。结果,他们遭受了营养不良。
考虑到节食的坏处,我们在节食的时候一定要小心。我认为不管是因为什么原因节食,都需要专业的指导,只有正确的知道节食才会有效果。
【亮点点评】
[1]“尤其”,表示强调。
[2]“成为主力军”。
[3]过渡衔接词语,使文章条理清晰、衔接紧密。
[4]用于引出对危害或负面影响的阐述。
[5]“not only… but also”用于连接并列成分。
[6]“考虑到,鉴于”,介词。
[7]“不管因为什么原因”,whatever意为“无论什么”。
[8]“only+状语”位于句首,引起句子部分倒装。
[9]“像我们期望的那样”。
佳句临摹
1.佳句:For them, dieting not only is useless but also might damage their health.
临摹:基因技术不仅使动植物受益而且还有助于提高人类的生活质量。
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2.佳句:In my opinion, dieting, for whatever reasons, needs professional guidance.
临摹: 无论你的目标是什么,你都必须通过诚实的劳动来实现它。
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3.佳句:Only with right guidance can dieting work as we expect.
临摹:只有修满足够的学分,学生才能够获准毕业。
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【KEY】
1. Genetic technology helps not only the plant and animals but also human beings to live a higher quality
2. Whatever your aim is, you must worked honestly to attain it.
3. Only when adequate credits have been achieved can students gain the qualification for graduation.
生活Life 健康Healthy
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