On Dieting 关于节食

　　Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a composition on the topic On Dieting. You should write at least 150 words, and base your composition on the outline (given in Chinese) below:
　　1)现在有越来越多人的选择节食，有的人是为了健康，但是更多的人是为了有一个苗条的身材
　　2)分析节食减肥可能带来的影响
　　3)你的建议
　　On Dieting
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　　行文思路 　
　　本题属于提纲式文字命题。提纲第1点指出一种现象并要求说明原因，提纲第2点要求分析这种现象可能带来的影响，提纲第3点要求针对该现象提出“我”的建议，由此可判断本文应为现象解释型作文。
　　根据所给提纲，本文应包含如下内容：描述越来越多的人节食的现象并分析主要原因;阐述节食不当可能带来的影响;针对节食给出“我”的建议。
　　高分范文
　　On Dieting
　　Nowadays more and more people are beginning to go on a diet. Some people are concerned with their health, and they go on a diet in order to lose unwanted weight. But still others, [1]especially the young women, are paying too much attention to their outward appearance. They [2]become the leading numbers who go on a diet.
　　[3]However, dieting might [4]bring great negative effects on people. [3]For one thing, quite a lot of people don’t really need dieting to keep health, and they diet just because they want to keep slim. For them, dieting [5]not only is useless but also might damage their health. [3]For another, some people lack enough knowledge on how to diet scientifically. [3]As a result, they are likely to suffer from malnutrition.
　　[6]Considering the serious damage of unhealthy dieting, we should be cautious in dieting. [3]In my opinion, dieting,[7]for whatever reasons, needs professional guidance. [8]Only with right guidance can dieting work [9]as we expect.
现在越来越多人在节食。一些人担心自己的健康，所以通过节食来减掉超过的体重。但也有一些人，特别是女人，对她们外表太在意了。她们成为了节食人群的主导者。
但是，节食会对人们带来很多负面影响。一方面，大部分人都不需要真的节食来保持健康，他们只是想保持苗条身材。对于他们来说，节食不仅没有用反而对他们的健康造成伤害。另一方面，一些人对怎么科学的节食不是很了解。结果，他们遭受了营养不良。
考虑到节食的坏处，我们在节食的时候一定要小心。我认为不管是因为什么原因节食，都需要专业的指导，只有正确的知道节食才会有效果。
　　【亮点点评】
　　[1]“尤其”，表示强调。
　　[2]“成为主力军”。
　　[3]过渡衔接词语，使文章条理清晰、衔接紧密。
　　[4]用于引出对危害或负面影响的阐述。
　　[5]“not only… but also”用于连接并列成分。
　　[6]“考虑到，鉴于”，介词。
　　[7]“不管因为什么原因”，whatever意为“无论什么”。
　　[8]“only+状语”位于句首，引起句子部分倒装。
　　[9]“像我们期望的那样”。
　　佳句临摹
　　1.佳句：For them, dieting not only is useless but also might damage their health.
　　临摹：基因技术不仅使动植物受益而且还有助于提高人类的生活质量。
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　　2.佳句：In my opinion, dieting, for whatever reasons, needs professional guidance.
　　临摹： 无论你的目标是什么，你都必须通过诚实的劳动来实现它。
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　　3.佳句：Only with right guidance can dieting work as we expect.
　　临摹：只有修满足够的学分，学生才能够获准毕业。
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　　【KEY】
　　1. Genetic technology helps not only the plant and animals but also human beings to live a higher quality
　　2. Whatever your aim is, you must worked honestly to attain it.
　　3. Only when adequate credits have been achieved can students gain the qualification for graduation.

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