母亲教给你的四堂人生课
School started yesterday and my first grader, Sweet P, is now a second grader and I am no longer allowed to walk her to the bus stop. But I can, I am told, stand at the bottom of the driveway and watch her ride by. I am also welcome to wave and she may wave back.
新学期又开始了，我的孩子也该上2年级了，我不能再送她到汽车站达车上学了。我唯一能做的是在路口等待载着她的公车开过。我会对她招手，她也对我招手。
I miss her already. She's headed into another new adventure. And so I am I. Life is like that. Expansive, with new skills to develop, new lessons to learn.
我停止不了对女儿的想念。我知道她这是她成长路上新的探索，对我而言又何尝不是呢?人生本来如此，无论在那个阶段，我们都需要不断学习。
Today I'm thinking about some of the lessons I am teaching my daughter.
今天，我想起了我教女儿成长的一些知识。
These are the basics. They are my lessons, too.
这些知识很基础，然而对于我来说却也是众生收益的。
Lesson 1 -- Be kind, even when the other kid doesn't deserve it.
第一课——友善，无论对谁都要有颗友善的心
Kindness and compassion, Sweet P, can change the world and often it's the people who seem the least deserving who need both the most.
我亲爱的宝贝，友善和富有同情心可以改变世界。很多人貌似冷酷，事实上他们也许是最需要友善和同情的。
One day, when you were in preschool, I watched you through the narrow little window in the door to your classroom and saw a punk kid knock you over. Every cell in me wanted to bust through that door, leap over the little table, grab that kid by the back of his overalls and haul him off to juvie.
有一天，我到幼儿园来看你，我透过窗户看到一个小孩把你撞翻了。我好想冲进你的教室，跳过那些小桌子椅子，从背后抓起那个撞翻你的小男孩，把他送进少管所。
But, he was three and you were three and I thought, well, maybe a little push doesn't qualify as strike one in the criminal justice system's penal code. I'm also pretty sure I couldn't actually leap over the table. So, I let it go.
但是，我又想，她和你一样，也才三岁。也许孩子间的推推嚷嚷不至于将其定义为犯罪吧。与此同时，我也不能真的冲进教室。所以，我选择了放手。
I'm learning to do that a lot in this life, to let go. It doesn't help to hang on to the hurt or judgment. It doesn't work to blame or criticize. Those approaches only serve to keep you stuck. But compassion is freeing. It uplifts both you and the person you are sharing it with. When you act with compassion you are living from your highest potential and connecting with your greatest self. The more you can do that, the better you'll feel in this life.
在我的生活里，我也尝试过很多次试着放手。虽然，学会放手不会减轻生活里的伤痛或是改变什么，也不会让你的情绪得以发泄，也许你任然会被生活所困。然而，富有同情心是一种释放。会让你和感受到你同情心的人得到精神上的洗礼。当你对一切都附有同情心时，你会发挥自己最大潜力。你也会在生活终觉得自己有无限的正能量。
Lesson 2 -- Don't let others determine how you feel about your life.
第二课——不要让被人为你的人生做决定
When you are accountable for your life -- and all the actions and emotions and beliefs that come with it -- Sweet P, you get to create your experience. Sure, you're going to encounter snarky people and disappointing outcomes, but you always, always get to decide how you'll respond to those circumstances.
对你自己的生活负责——亲爱的宝贝，你生活里的行为，你的情绪和信仰都要对自己负责任。当然，在人生中，你会遇到很刻薄的人和很无奈的事，但是你要做那个对自己所处情况有担当的人。
They don't have to be setbacks. Don't shy away from doing what you want to because you're afraid, or people are difficult, or it feels too hard. Instead, lead with compassion and then get busy creating the experience you want.
自己做决定不见得会失败。不要因为害怕而不敢做决定。每个人情况不一样，感觉也不一样。所以，用你的有第一课做引导，开创自己的人生。
Your dreams aren't dependent on anyone else -- though many people will influence them along the way. Be open, but be determined. You get to decide how to live this moment and then the next. When you know this, anything is possible.
实现梦想不能依靠任何人——尽管在这个过程里很多人会影响你。要从谏如流，但自己拿主意。要明确你的近期目标和长远目标。当目标明确了，梦想就会照进现实。
Lesson 3 -- Say "thank you." Slowly. Always.
第三课——学会说谢谢
Feel free to practice this lesson around the house. Try this:
宝贝，你可以在自己的房间里练习这一课, 你可以这样说：
"Thank you for dinner, Mama."
“谢谢你为我做晚餐，妈妈。”
"Thank you for finding my coat behind the couch."
“谢谢你在沙发后面找到我的衣服”
"Thank you for not wearing your pajamas to the bus stop, Mama."
“谢谢你没有穿穿睡衣来公车站接我，妈妈。”
When someone helps you out, stop, look them in the eye and say "thank you." This allows you to connect with the others. It will also remind you of all the good stuff you have in your life.
当有人帮助了你，你要放下手中的事，真诚的看着他们的眼睛道谢。这是你和别人讲话的礼貌。也可以提醒你自己人生中存在美好的事物。
It's easy to get sidetracked and whiny about all the things going wrong, but thank you is a way of remembering all that is right.
当事情不顺利的时候，我们容易走弯路，也容易变得喋喋不休的抱怨。但是，当你感激别人的时候，也提醒了你自己什么是对的。
We can have disappointment and sadness and still appreciate the beauty of the leaves. We can be angry and frustrated and be grateful for the people who love us. When you practice gratitude often, constantly, consistently, your days will be brighter.
我们有时候会失望，有事后会伤心，但任然期望美好的事物;我们有时会愤怒，有事会沮丧，然欣慰还有爱我么的家人。但你一直坚持感激这些美好的事物存在，你每天就会过得更阳光。
Lesson 4 -- Be who you are, it is enough.
第四课——做你自己
Second grade is going to have some messy moments, no doubt. No matter how old you get, you'll always have times when you feel inadequate.
毫无疑问，二年级会遇到比比一年级更多的难题。但无论你多大，在你没准备好以前，总会有时间。
But if you show up, do your best and be who you are -- I promise you, it will be enough. You have all that you need to recover when your feelings are hurt, you have all the talent and imagination and intelligence you need to make a positive contribution -- you already do it every day. You are amazing. We all are. Look for that in yourself. And when you feel confused and hurt and can't see your own awesome -- come on home. I'll hold you and hug you. It really can be that simple.
但如果你想展示你自己，你应该做到最好，并且保持本真。我想你保证，这样就足够了。相信我，当你受到伤害，你会学会自我康复;当你想奋斗，你的聪明才智会帮你实现理想。你每一天的成长都告诉我，你是多么不可思议的一个孩子。你要学会看到自己的优点。当你在生活中困惑了，受伤了或是不能欣赏到自己的优势了。亲爱的宝贝，你只需要回家。我会抱你在怀中，为你排忧解难。就这么简单。
It is powerful to sit with the ones who love you. Find those people. Care for them. Go to them and make room for them to come to you. Know that real love isn't meant to hurt.
坐在爱你的人身旁你会永远无穷力量。同时，用爱帮助那些需要帮助的人，要知道，真爱无敌。
These are the basic lessons, Sweet P. When we stay close to them they help us find peace, joy and a harmony in life that carries far beyond second grade.
这些都是人生中最基本的知识我的孩子。当你理解这些真谛，你的生活就会安详快乐，带你走过年年岁岁。
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