爱你，但与性无关
Loving You, but Not in That Way
潘亭婷 译
Tomorrow is the one day of the year in which couples, in love, are required by Hallmark to say to another “Yes, it's true. I actually do love you. Here's a card, some flowers, let's go eat a steak in the shape of a heart.” This simple, restorative1 ritual suspends, for just one day, the fear that we've wound up with the completely wrong person.
But for far too long, boyfriends, girlfriends and married people have had a stranglehold2 on Valentine's Day. It's as if Hallmark's High Holiday has been reserved for only the 'in love'. A day of consummation3, not communion. Because if you're not sharing a bed, you're not welcome. Isn't it time to allow everyone to participate in the Valentine tradition? To say “Hey, I love you, but not in that way.” Because for many, best friends are spouses, family, our most cherished loved ones. And yet, for best friends there is no holiday celebrating their partnership and how deeply they care for each other. Non-bed-sharers, make tomorrow your day to tell someone you don't love in that way that you love them.
Here's how to say it without them freaking out4. Guys, you can't give your best friend chocolates or flowers. Instead for Valentine's day, get his car detailed -you know how he likes it. Or get him a card that says 'Hey, I love your tie.' But add somewhere 'Hope my girlfriend gets me one just like it.' Men can also get a buddy at the office a Valentine Greeting. He'll never hear from his girlfriend or wife 'I love your work. Happy Valentine's Day.' As a more daring gesture gentleman, a bit of the bard goes a long way5: 'Roses are red, violets are blue. Hey, I'm not gay, but dude, I love you.' Ladies, there's always putting pen to paper with those three little words every woman loves to hear: 'Your shoes rock.' Or still, even more affectionate without any sexual overtones, 'Oh my god, I love your hair.' On Valentine's Day, tell her something she'll never hear from a guy, like 'Hey, let's get a MAP6' or 'You were right.' Send your boss a Valentine, send your letter carrier a Valentine, or a soldier, or heck, send the president a Valentine that says: “I love you sir, for not eavesdropping7 on me.”
This Valentine's Day, let your voice be heard. Even if you have no Valentine, no friends, let alone a spouse, aim Cupid's arrow at anyone. It might feel strange, but it'll hurt less than a chest full of birdshot8.
1. restorative /rI`storEtIv/ a. 促使复的，恢复精神的。
2. stranglehold /`strA9gL,hold/ n. 束缚。
3. consummation /,kansE`meSEn/ n. 完婚，（关系的）实现。
4. freak out：（使）大吃一惊，（使）感到困惑（或生气等）。
5. go a long way：大有帮助，起重要作用。
6. MAP （Magnesium Ascorbyl Phosphate）：维他命C磷酸镁盐，一种美白成份。在美白产品的各种维他命C衍生物中，MAP稳定性最高，较能抗光、热、空气氧化，不易变质，延续有效运作时间。
7. eavesdrop /`Ivz,drap/ v. 偷听，窃听。此处讽刺美国国家安全局自2001年“9・11”事件发生后，秘密搜集普通美国人的电话通话记录，以图建立一个可以把美国所有电话通话都纳入其中的庞大数据库。
8. full of birdshot：birdshot指射鸟用的小号铅弹，该词组可以理解为“千疮百孔”。
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