写作: 家长和孩子Parents and Kids
Many parents who welcome the idea of turning off TV and spending more time with the family are still worded that without TV they would constantly be on call as entertainers for their children. They remember thinking up all sorts of things to do when they were kids. But their own kids seem different,less resourceful, somewhat. When there's nothing to do,these parents observe regretfully, their kids seem unable to come up with anything to do besides turning on TV.
One father, for example, says,"When I was a kid, we were always thinking up things to do. We certainly never complain in an annoying way to our parents: 'have nothing to do! ' "He compares this with his own children today:"They're simply lazy. If someone doesn't entertain them, they' II happily sit there watching TV all day."
There is one word for this father's disappointment: unfair. He deplores his children' s lack of inventiveness, as if the ability to play were something innate that his children are missing. In fact, while the tendency to play is built into the human species.
Such disappointment, however, is not only unjust, it is also destructive. Sensing their parents' disappointment, children come to believe that they are, indeed, lacking something, and that this makes them less worthy of admiration and respect. Giving children the opportunity to develop new re-sources, to enlarge their horizons and discover the pleasures of doing things on their own is, on the other hand, a way to help children develop a confident feeling about themselves as capable and interesting people.
许多家长表示对关掉电视花更多时间陪家人表示赞同,这样他们可以花更多时间陪孩子而不是看电视。当他们还是孩子的时候他们会想到更多事情去做,但是自己的孩子似乎不同,有时候更少的足智多谋。当没有什么可做的时候,家长们遗憾的是,他们的孩子除了打开电视想不到任何的其他事情。
例如,一位父亲说:“当我还是个孩子的时候,我们总是思考事情要做。我们不会抱怨父母:“没什么可做”比起他们自己的孩子:“他们只是懒惰。如果有人不招待他们,他们将开心得一整天坐着看电视。”
有一个词可以形容这个父亲的失望,不公平。他谴责他的孩子缺乏创造力,好像能力是天生的,他的孩子们玩失踪。事实上,玩耍是人类特有的倾向。
然而这种失望,不仅是不公平的,也是破坏性的。感受到父母的失望,孩子们开始相信,实际上,缺乏一些东西,而这让他们更值得钦佩和尊重。给孩子们机会开发新资源,扩大眼界,发现自己做事情的乐趣,另一方面,帮助孩子开发一个自信的自我感觉有能力和有趣的人。
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