BEC名师点评作文（1）
BEC剑桥商务英语证书在中国被认可的主要以外资企业居多，特别是英联邦和欧盟成员国家的企业。BEC在外企及外籍人士中认可度还是很高的。
作文题目：
你是一家国际大公司的人力资源部经理。你刚刚任命弗朗西斯卡女士为公司总部的销售经理。
给总部的全体员工写一个字数为40-50的备忘录：
(1)宣布对弗朗西斯卡女士的任命。
(2)说明她开始工作的具体时间。
(3)要求总部员工准备欢迎她。
提示：
1 注意这次的备忘录不是直接写给个人的，而是写给集体员工的，因而格式上一般不用信头称呼的形式，也不采用在结尾处署上写信人的名字的方式，而是在备忘录的开头处写明收信
人To___________，在结尾处写明具体的写信人From__________以及题:Re_______
或Subject：__________。
2 要看清角色要求，作为经理给总部的全体员工写备忘录，文体不必太正式。
老师建议：
首先，我们要了解一篇memo的基本格式：
MEMORANDUM
From: Olive HR Manager To: All staff
Date: 12 June, 2008 Subject: Appointment of Francisco
Here we announce the appointment of Mrs. Francisco as our new Sales Manager of theHeadquarter. She will be starting her job next Monday morning. There will be a small welcomeparty by 9:00 that day so everyone please be on time.
从基本格式来看，网友的作文在格式上欠缺完整。
职位称呼错误。
其次，写一篇作文，我们说任何形式的BEC作文，都要考虑如下因素：
Who is going to read my memo?
What has the reader already known about this?
What does the reader need to know?
How is the reader going to respond my memo?
第三，memo尽量使用短句，这样表达清晰，结构紧凑。
第四，字数超，memo使用词汇要简短干练，确保大家都看得懂。
第五，写memo前要考虑清楚字句的组织，用精练的语言，有头有尾地把memo完成。
网友作文一：
MEMORANDUM[1]
TO: All employees
FROM: PR Manager
SUBJECT: Welcome new marketing manger
Ms Francisca is appointed to the marketing manager of our company for her rich experencesand excellent performance for many years.[2]
Since the marketing department is so important for our company,Ms Francisca should startto work as early as possible. Tomorrow, she will come and in charge of this department[3] .
As a way to express our welcome, every member is required to gather togather [4] at 8o'clock in the hall of the company and wait for the coming of Ms Francisca. Don't be late[5] !
[1]格式开头很好，可惜不完整。
[2]后面的句子意义不大，可以取掉。
[3]整句看起来完全有中式英文的痕迹。这么大的销售部，岂是明天说接管就接管的?
[4]拼写错误!
[5]口语化明显。改为：Please be sure to come on time.
网友作文二
To all staff[1]
All members, today I want to give a announcement. You will have a new sals manager,Mrs. Francsisc[2] . She will take the duty on next Monday. And you will be fond of her becauseshe is easy to please. So you must be ready to welcome the lady[3] .
From Alfred
Re Assignment
[1]格式不对
[2]明显是中式英文。
[3]这句话有命令的意味，怎么会must 欢迎呢?
网友作文三：
to all staff[1]
attentiong please,ms Francis which[2] is new sales manager will come to here on 8:00 pm7,6,2008, so that time all of you should give her a big welcome.
From Human resources manager
7,5 2008
[1]格式没有
[2]我说，这位经理别管男女，是人呢，怎么能用which ?
网友作文四：
To All employees,
I am very pleased to announe [1] the appointment of Ms Fransica as our new sales managerat head office. She will be officially on board from Aug.01.2008. Please join me to give her thewarmest welcome. Thank you!
From Mr Wu [2]
[1]拼写错误
[2]基本逻辑正确，语言干练，美中不足：格式欠缺。
网友作文五：
To all the staff of HQ：
Aftering serious consideration and consultation，we decide to appoint Mrs.Francisco [1]the sales manager of HQ. She is expected to start her new work next Monday. we will give her ashort welcome meeting then，so all of you please make a preparation for it.
From Mike，HR manager
Re：Appointment[2]
[1]加入as
[2]颠倒了!这个应该在开头!
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