实例解析GRE写作易犯错误 难词长句应量力而行
作文实例批改：
Foreigners may, largely, are willing to realize a society through staying and researching its major cities, but this does not follow that the only representation of a society is major cities.(Foreigners usually understand a society as they living in the major cities, studying them at the same time. However, actually, the major cities, in most cases, cannot represent a certain society in every respect.)
Indeed, there are numerous people living in major cities nowadays. To some degree, by observing citizens’ daily behavior,those who are not familiar with the society probably learn some respects of the society. To be specific, a normal citizen’s work time can (may) represent the portion of the society timetable; the prominent and grandiose buildings are also the symbol（单复数不统一） of the society. Accordingly, studying major cities has becoming（这个时态太过繁琐，只要用一般现在是就可以了）the cordial option of recognizing（understanding）the authentic and diverse milieu （authenticity and diversity）of a society.
However, the number of the major cities is only the small part of a whole society(the number of cities in the whole society). Hypothetically, the first place that a tourist arrives in America is New York. How is he about to probe the core of the society of America by visiting and penetrating New York?(How can he understand the society of …)The answer is that it is impossible for him to realize（understand）the whole society just with (by) the means of studying New York. After all, the environment of New York, phenomenon of prosperity, is not existed throughout the overall America(is not the same as that in other places in US). Still, every government of developed countries will do its best to promote the progress of major cities for moulding glamorous image of its country. Meanwhile, mainstreams of a country, as basic channel which foreigners try(主谓不一致)to explore the social phenomenon, are more likely to propagandize and transmit news about major cities but ignore the small and medium-sized cities or countryside due to relatively their lower profit and value of information（句子结构混乱，应该写成两句到三句话，而不是一整个长句）.
Besies, for most countries, countryside is the crucial determinant of a society（to the society）. The tempo of living and working in village is quite lower in contrast with(compare to that in)major cities, and the essence of a society can be retained without bustle and noisy vibe.(这里是一个新的句子不应该用逗号)There are over 700 million farmers in contemporary China, for instance, and they have kept the austere, frugal and regular traditional condition of life for a long time, so that they avoid influence of burgeon of world as much as possible. Such idyllic tranquility
As people interest in understanding exotic societies absolutely, visiting and penetrating both major cities and villages（countryside）is(are)the most judicious(wise) way to grasp it.（结尾过于简单，好的结尾应该是总结全文的观点，然后加一句总结句。这个结尾只有总结句，太过草率。但是如果考试时间不够，没办法的情况下，可以像本文这样。）
点评：从这篇文章中就可以看出，不恰当的使用难词长句，就会导致各种行文上的水土不服。大家在写作文的时候如果对于用法没有熟练的掌握，还请慎用大词、难词、生僻词、长难句等等。否则就会有东施效颦，过犹不及的感觉。毕竟中国人的文章很容易变成中不中洋不洋的Chinglish，而一旦文章被考官打上这样的标签，得分上就会有很大的风险。
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