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雅思写作辅导:大作文写作的低分原因

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  一、 五段式中用于第三个主体段
  在五段式的大作文中,三个主体段一般都是以“单边”的方式,“一边倒”的支持某一个观点。而若将最后一个主体段写成让步段,不仅可以照顾到反方的论点,而且更有利于进一步支持和强化本段的观点,从而起到强化论述的效果:中 华 考 试 网
  Obviously, not every celebrity is generous. Some, I am sure, keep all their money for themselves. But there are people like Bill Gates who are well known for making donations, attending charitable functions and taking part in a range of activities that support people less fortunate than themselves。
  在写让步段的时候,我们必须要使用表“转折”的连词,常用的有but, however, nevertheless, nonetheless等。有时候我们还可以使用让步状语从句来引导让步段,涉及的连词有:despite, in spite of, although, though, even though, even if等。在上面这个例子中,我们看到作者用了2个简单句来描写反面的观点,对于用来描写反面观点的句子,建议一般以1―3句话为宜,而转折后的句子,通常在长度上要超过前面的句子。下面我们再来看一个让步段:
  题目:Very few school children learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum. Do you agree with this statement?
  It is possibly true that schools could try to make children understand the importance of all these areas, but children are young and cannot look into the future or predict the skills that they will need。
  上面这个让步段非常简洁,请注意作者使用的句型:“It is possibly true that.……”,这是我们在让步段里经常用来开头的句型。下面我们再来看看如何用让步状语从句引导让步段:
  Although watching TV or playing computer games do enrich children‘s spare time and broaden their horizon to some extent, a sedentary lifestyle reduces healthy outdoor activities and will have long-term medical consequences for children. An increasing number of children suffer from obesity and near-sightedness as a result of spending too much time in front of a flashing screen。
  在这个段落中,作者使用了让步状语从句,在继续论述“久坐”的生活方式对孩子健康方面的弊端前,先说了一下它的优点,进而反驳,从而起到了鲜明的对比反差效果,突出了这种生活方式对孩子健康造成的巨大伤害。
  二、五段式每段都用让步段
  这种写法属于非主流写法,需要考生具备一定的写作功底,对论点的把握火候得当。这种写法类似于新托福中综合写作里质疑论据合理性的写法。对于志在高分的同学来说可以尝试一下,下面我们就来看一个例子:
  Those against the use of animal testing claim that it is inhumane to use animal in experiments. I disagree completely. It would be much more inhumane to test new drugs on children or adults. Even if it were possible, it would also take much longer to see potential effects, because of the length of time we live compared to laboratory animals such as rats or rabbits。
  Opponents of animal testing also claim that the results are not applicable to humans. This may be partly true. Some drugs have had to be withdrawn, despite testing. However, we simply do not have alternative methods of testing. Computer models are not advanced enough, and testing on plants is much less applicable to humans than tests on animals such as monkeys. Until we have a better system, we must use animal testing。
  A further point often raised against animal testing is that it is cruel. Some of the tests certainly seem painful, but the great majority of people on this planet eat meat or wear leather without any guilt. Where is their sympathy for animals? Furthermore, animals clearly do not feel the same way as humans, and scientists are careful to minimize stress in the animals, since this would damage their research。
  这篇作文是关于是否应该拿动物做实验的话题。作者是支持继续拿动物做实验的,在他的每个主体段中,他都是先讲了反对者的一个观点,然后再反驳。请密切关注下作者在每个主体段首句中使用的句型:“Those against.…… claim that.……”:“Opponents of .…… also claim that.……”:“A further point often raised against .…… is that.……”。前2句为宾语从句,最后一句为表语从句。从主语的选择上作者也花了心思,分别在第一句和第二句使用了不同单词组合,但是意思是一致的。因此建议大家不妨在一开始写主体段首句的时候先模仿他的这种写法。接下来我们再来看看次句的句型:“I disagree completely”:“This may be partly true”:“Some of the .……, but.……”。这三组句型同样做到了抑扬顿挫,第一个句子语气最强,而后二个句子语气明显递减。对于这种安排,笔者认为并非一定要按照他的模式,这取决于你在三个段落中的观点的排列,但是一般来说,语气最强的或者最重要的那个观点,要么放在第一段写,要么放到最后一段里写。笔者推荐将最重要的观点放在第一个主体段里论述。
  综上所述,让步段已经俨然成为了目前五段式大作文的常用段落发展方式,希望以上的讨论对大家在写让步段时有所启迪。

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