【范文分析】雅思写作地图题学生习作分析
编者按:地图题是雅思写作小作文部分烤鸭最不愿意碰上的一种提醒,很多人往往练动笔的思路都没有,不知道该从何入手,并且写完一部分内容不知道如何继续下一部分,该描述图中哪些有效信息。下面小站雅思小编为大家总结写作地图题的实例讲解。
首先听题:Below is a map of the city of Brandfield. City planners have decided to build a new shopping mall for the area, and two sites, S1 and S2 have been proposed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
第一个学生的写作:
A golf course and park is located in the west of this city, with a river to the south, crossing Branfield from the south-western corner to the north. To the east of the golf course and park is a railway, linking he north-western corner and the south-eastern corner of this city. Situated in the north of Brandfield, a housing estate covers an area between the river and the railway. There is a city center in the middle of this city,located to the south of the railway and divided by the river.It is noticeable that a road is sited between the golf course and park in the west and the city center in the middle,and it goes across the south-eastern corner of the housing estate,connecting the north-eastern corner of this city to the south of the city center and to the south of this city. S1 is located to the north of the city center and the railway, between the road and the river.
这个学生的作文主要问题是她上来不断地描述,而忘记了这个图的首要事情是描述S1 和S2. 这个学生的问题体现了中文和英文的思维差异。也是我们中国人在写PS,大学作业,EMAIL,工作报告,甚至口语交流中的一个普遍问题。
很多学生写信件一上来就是不写目的是什么,而是一大堆背景。而写普通图表就把图里的数据描述的细致入微,而忘记了主要信息的归纳。
这就是为什么很多学生在考场上写的很爽,但是分数很低。因为他们是self-centred, 而不是reader-friendly
下面一个学生也是这个问题,自己写得很勤奋,兢兢业业,但是读者昏昏欲睡
The hosuing estate located in the northern corner of this area with a huge golf course and park to the southwest. Situated in the middle of this area, the City centre is surrounded by two main roads and a railway from northwest to south while a river cross the centre from north to southwest. There is an industrial Estate on the southeastern corner of this area.
It should be noted that the S1 of the shopping mall is to the north of the city center and surrounded by the river, railway and the northern road. In contrast, the S2 located in the south of this city and to the left of the railway and the Industrial Estate.
很多同学遇到地图题很乱,为什么?因为他们太想描述所有的东西,而不知道从什么地方说起。《手把手》上说过,这个时候要一个一个地点描述。
譬如说s1:1 靠近housing areas,那里的人可以坐火车去 2 CITY centre 的人可以坐火车或者开车去, 3 靠近河 ,可能景色不错
S2:1 靠近CITY centre , 人们可以开车或者坐火车去,但是housing areas太远了 2 靠近工业区,有可能有污染和噪音
是不是这么一写,马上清楚了? 比大家在那里一个个说地点好?
下面这是我写的主体部分
S1 is possibly located in the north of Brandfield, lying next to one railway line and one road. This means that this supermarket can be assessed by those living in the residential block to the north and also by the shoppers from the city centre. Another advantage of this site is its proximity to the river that runs from north to south. People may enjoy a good view of the river when shopping.
Similar to S1, S2 is supported by the town’s transport infrastructure, in view of the fact that it is sited between the rainway and the road. The difference is that consumers from the housing area may have to travel a longer distance before reaching this site in the south-north corner. This suggested site is also close to the industrial estate on the eastern edge of the town and pollution is possibly a cause for concern.
当然,大家可以按照上课的办法写得简单点 (下面这一段是分句合并法,而且文字信息不多,主要是平铺直叙,在考场上拿个7分也是可以的):
S1 is possibly located in the north of Brandfield, lying next to one railway line and one road. There is a housing area to the south and residents can travel by car or train to visit S1. This site is also accessible for those working or living in the city centre. A river runs across the town to the east of S1.
S2 is in the south-east of the town and close to the railway and the road. Although shoppers from the city centre can reach this site easily, the journey is long for those from the housing estate. To the east of S2 is the industrial zone.
以上就是小站雅思频道为大家带来的雅思写作地图题的学生写作分析,希望能给你带来一点启发,早日与雅思分手。
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