雅思写作真题9分范文分享 犯罪减少最佳办法
本文为大家2018年3月3日雅思写作考题,是关于犯罪话题的,讨论教育与监狱谁能更有效地减少犯罪。是一道比较有难度的话题,不过这篇英国雅思老师的范文还是值得信赖的9分哟。In most countries, prison is the most common solution for the problem of crime. However, the more effective solution is to provide people with better education so that they do not become criminals.To what extent do you agree or disagree.
雅思写作话题解析
很多考鸭的立场是这样的:better education 和 prison 都好都有用,因此一样有效,一团和气,不得罪任何人,那考官就要得罪你了。
以上的立场,根本就不是一个明确的立场。
此外,A和B都有效,不代表它们一样有效。一样有效,是考鸭爱走的捷径。这样确实可以减少很多思考。
我们来想想如何处理。首先,让考鸭们无法释怀的一点,prison 和 better education 都是有效的,其次,再问问你的心,到底哪个更有效?多数人会觉得是 better education 吧
参考思路
长远看来,better education 更有效;但是针对一些 better education 无法改善的人,仍然需要 prison.即prison 是 better education 的补充
主体段的展开:
1. 为什么 better education 更有效
2. better education 无法改善的人是谁
雅思写作9分范文
开头段
Opinions differ on the extent to which incarceration deals effectively with crime as opposed to improving the quality of education. My view is that there will always be a role for prisons in confining evil people, but better education is more likely to reduce crime levels.
主体段1:讨论 prison 的作用
Confining criminals to prison is likely to always be necessary at least to some extent. There are currently a large number of people in jail for serious offences like murder and, for them, preventive education would come too late. It is more important that society continue to be protected from them than to release them in the hope that they might reform by virtue of educational programmes. Another reality is the fact that some people choose to commit serious wrongdoings no matter how much education they have received. This is the case for many white-collar crimes such as fraud which often involve the elaborate schemes that only very intelligent people could devise.
1) 犯了谋杀罪等重罪的大量囚犯,靠防止犯罪的教育来改变他们,已经太迟了。保护人们不受他们的伤害,比释放他们并指望通过教育来改造他们,更重要。
2) 有些人无论接受了多少教育,都会选择犯罪。很多白领犯罪,比如诈骗,就是需要高智商的人才能设计出来的。
主体段2:讨论 better education 的作用
Nevertheless, improvements to education would, in my view, be a better means of reducing the number of people who want to commit crime in the long-term. Acquiring more useful knowledge especially when young would provide greater opportunities for entry into satisfying careers. Further education opens up new possibilities in terms of developing healthy interests and participating in worthwhile activities such as sports and hobbies. Better education would achieve improved outcomes such as a proficiency in a sport rather than just a passing interest. The more people achieve personal goals in terms of their careers or hobbies, the more people will find meaning in life and thus not be tempted to use their talents in illegal ways.
1) 获取更多有用的知识,尤其在年轻的时候,会给人带去更大的机会,进入体面的职业。
2) 中学后的深造,为人们培养健康的兴趣和参加有意义的活动,提供了新的可能性。
3) 更好的教育能带来更好的结果,比如对某项运动转瞬即逝的兴趣变成了熟练。
越多的人在职业和爱好方面达到了目标,就有越多的人找到生命的意义,因此不会被诱惑将自己的才华运用到违法的事情上。
结尾段
In conclusion, I acknowledge the place that imprisonment will have in protecting society from serious offenders who have already committed crimes. However crime levels are more likely to fall more drastically over the longer term by reason of improvement to education.
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