独立写作范文解析:人们选择居住的地方对幸福的影响比人们选择的工作更大。(2013.1.27)
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: The place people choose to live has more effect on happiness than the job people choose.
【译文】你是否同意或不同意以下观点:人们选择居住的地方对幸福的影响比人们选择的工作更大。
【解析】在正式下笔前,你可以花点时间捋清思路。写下你想在文章中展开论述的要点,以及打算使用的论证手法,这将有助于文章条理清晰。
Becoming an adult is fraught with many difficult decisions, such as choosing a career and where to live. Stresses come with every job. If where you live does not help you escape the stresses of work, then you will never be happy, no matter how good a job you have.
【译文】成年人的世界总是充满了艰难的抉择,比如选择一个职业和在哪里生活。每一份工作都有压力。如果你住的地方不能帮助你摆脱工作的压力,那么无论你的工作有多好,你都不会快乐。
【解析】论点是引导文章的主要思想或观点,读者可以从文章论点中了解你想要表达的关键信息。无需赘言,你只需用一句话阐明论点,简明扼要地表达论述思路。总而言之,言简意赅。
I have a cousin in California who has a terrible job at a hotel. She could move back to the East Coast and maybe find a better job, but she says she would not dream of it; she loves the Californian weather and lifestyle too much. She told me that even though work is terrible sometimes, whenever she has a bad day she just goes for a walk on the beach and then feels better. There will always be something stressful or unpleasant about your job. My cousin lives by the philosophy that the quality of life does not have to depend on your job. As long as you live a full and adventurous life after hours work hours, you can be happy. In order to accomplish living life completely, I believe location is very important.
【译文】我在加州有个表亲,她在一家旅馆有份很糟糕的工作。她本可以搬回东海岸,也许会找到一份更好的工作,但她说那不是她所希望的;她非常喜欢加利福尼亚的天气和生活方式。她告诉我,尽管有时工作很糟糕,但每当她心情不好的时候,她就会去海滩散步,然后感觉好多了。你的工作总是会有压力或不愉快的事情。我的表姐生活的哲学是,生活的质量并不一定要依赖于你的工作。只要你在工作时间过了一段时间后,你就能过一种充满冒险精神的生活,你就会很快乐。为了活的更完整,我相信住址是非常重要的。
【解析】举例在托福独立写作中扮演着非常重要的角色,“真实可信、生动有趣、充实饱满”这三个要素决定了这个例子是否成功支撑了你的写作。没有具体例子,文章将缺乏“画面感”,大量的“讲道理”只能让文章读起来味同嚼蜡。
Even if you love you job, there are still plenty of hours in the week where you are not at the office. I have a friend who loves the outdoors. He has a great job in Denver, Colorado working at a geological institute. He loves his job, but the main reason he chose to move to Denver was to be able to spend his weekends mountain climbing. You can be happy with your job, but living in a place where you can find happiness outside of work is the best way to find contentment in life.
【译文】即使你热爱你的工作,一周仍有很多时间是工作之外的。我有一个喜欢户外活动的朋友。他在科罗拉多州的丹佛市有一份很好的工作,在一个地质研究所工作。他热爱自己的工作,但他选择搬到丹佛的主要原因是能够在周末的登山活动中度过。你可以对自己的工作感到满意,但生活在一个你能在工作之外找到快乐的地方是在生活中找到满足感的最好方法。
【解析】记住托福的举例一定要要具体和详实。没有具体例子,分论点就缺乏论据,缺乏论据,就缺乏可信度,导致论证不充分。不管是表亲的例子还是这位热爱户外运动的朋友的例子,都营造了非常丰满的画面感,使得文章不再单薄骨感。
Granted, sometimes you must move to a place you do not like, because you want to keep a job you like. Sometimes people are transferred by their companies to less than ideal locations. Companies know that it is often difficult to convince employees to take a position in a remote or far away location, so they offer employees incentives to move to these areas. Many people use these incentives of extra pay and other amenities as a means of motivation. Oftentimes these assignments are temporary and the employees return at the first chance they get. Maybe they are not depressed to work in these locations, but they certainly aren’t the happiest they could be.
【译文】当然,有时候你必须搬到一个你不喜欢的地方,因为你想要保住自己喜欢的工作。有时,人们被他们的公司转移到不太理想的地方。公司知道,要说服员工在偏远或遥远的地方担任职位通常是困难的,所以他们会给员工提供激励,让他们搬到这些地方。许多人利用这些额外的报酬和其他便利设施作为一种激励手段。通常这些任务是暂时的,员工一有机会就会回来。也许他们在这些地方工作并不沮丧,但他们肯定不是最快乐的。
【解析】让步段其实是一种“以退为进”,先承认对方一定限度的合理性,然后再削弱对方的理论和现实基础,从而来更好地捍卫和增强自己的观点
No matter how satisfied you are with your job, if you are not in a good location, you will not be as happy as you can be.
【译文】不管你对工作有多满意,如果你不在一个好的位置,你就不会像你所能做的那样快乐。
【解析】本文的尾段其实非常直接,就是简短的重申明确自己的观点!
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