Remembering the Ages
This weekend, I volunteered1 to give my friend, Liza, a hand2 with her fiance's 30th birthday gift. Liza wanted to surprise James with a 30-minute video biography3 that captured4 the highlights5 of his life. So last week, she called his parents in New York to ask for pictures from James' childhood.Two days later, a box arrived on Liza's doorstep. As Liza and I pored over6 these photos, putting them in chronological7 order, it dawned on8 me how life-defining birthdays are. They not only mark the day we came into this world but also serve as signposts9 for important milestones in life.In America, the following birthdays are especially meaningful:
ONE Whether we remember it or not, most of us had a very happy one-year-old birthday, at least our parents and family did. Our first birthday is an occasion for our parents and loved ones to celebrate and tell the world that they've had us for one whole year. Hooray!
SIXTEEN Sweet Sixteen, Sweet Sixteen? What's so sweet about this birthday? Perhaps because sixteen marks our coming of age, which is the interim10 period between childhood and adulthood. It's a very brief and unique stage in our lives. A time when we are becoming an adult, yet still haven't lost our childhood innocence. The best of both worlds.
Actually Sweet Sixteen applies more often to girls' 16th birthdays than to boys'. At that age, a girl is on the verge of becoming a woman. Picture a flower bud about to bloom, opening its face to the world for the first time. There's a sense of beauty and sweetness to this transition. Our 16th birthday is the first day we can get our driver's license. It's the official step toward becoming a mature person. From this day forward, we no longer need our parents to drive us around, take us everywhere. Instead, we just borrow their car. Maybe that's what makes sixteen so sweet to the boys as they eagerly celebrate this newfound autonomy11. Now they can drive without adult supervision! Haa, haa!
EIGHTEEN This is the day we become legal adults in the eye of the law. We can now assume full responsibility for all aspects of our lives. We no longer need our parents' consent to go on fieldtrips12, to rent a R-rated13 movie, to have a medical procedure done, to get married, etc. If a teacher has a problem with our grades, he comes directly to us. And if a doctor wants to discuss a medical condition, he speaks only to us.
In so many words, we are not dependents any more but independent individuals who take full responsibility for our actions and their consequences. And our parents have become advisors instead of legal guardians. In fact, many Americans frown14 upon those over age eighteen who still expect and rely on their parents to take care of them. Of course, most American parents continue to play very important and active roles in their children's lives even after the children have grown up. The parents pay for college education, help with down payments on houses, and bestow15 wisdom. But the point is, as of eighteen, we are our own person and can no longer hide behind Daddy and Mommy.
TWENT-ONE Most Americans celebrate this birthday with excessive partying and drinking. 21 is the legal drinking age in America. In other words, the day we turn 21 is the day we enter a whole new social plane. We can order a glass of wine with our dinner or enjoy a highball16 at a classy cocktail lounge17 without the fear of being charged with underage drinking. In addition, being 21 gives us access to bars, clubs and casinos18. In America, all establishments that serve alcohol require us to show proof of age before entrance is granted or services are rendered.
THIRTY The Big Three-O. What's so special about this birthday? In my opinion, 30th birthday is the day of introspection and reflection for many people. We look back at what we've done with our lives so far and decide if we are happy with where we are? Thirty is a critical age. We are not old but we're also not young. In other words, it's not too late for us to do the things that we've always wanted to do, but we should start on them soon because time is flying by. In other words, thirty is the age of many important questions:Do I want to get married?Do I want to have children? Should I marry the woman I met three years ago?Am I happy with my career?Do I have a future in this line of work? Is it too late to change professions?Should I start saving money to buy a house soon?
The list goes on. The most pressing issue is knowing what we want in life and working hard toward these goals. As the saying goes, " It's never too late to start." But as thirty year-olds, we no longer have too much time to waste. So it's high time to tell ourselves, " Okay, this is what I want and these are the changes I need to make. Let's get to it because I'm not getting any younger."
Of course, we should never forget the importance of marching to the beat of our own drum. Set our own clock. Don't do things because it's our birthday. Do it because we're ready to take on the responsibility that comes with each milestone. Get the driver's license when we feel confident about piloting a car in heavy traffic. Drink when we know when to stop. Have children because we want to be a parent. Fall in love when we love a person. In life, we are either growing up or growing old. But we can grow as a person either way. So enjoy the birthdays, blow out those candles and make a wish, " May our next birthday be better than this one!"
这周末,我自告奋勇帮我朋友莉莎给她未婚夫吉姆赶制30岁生日礼物。莉莎想制作一部30分钟的传记录像,记载她未婚夫生命中重要的时刻,给他一个惊喜。所以她上周就给他住在纽约的父母打了一个电话,索要吉姆童年以来的照片。两天后,一个盒子就递到了莉莎的门口。莉莎和我专心致志地摆弄着这些照片,按年月顺序排好,此时我突然悟到生日把人的一生分得如此清晰。它们不仅标志着我们降临这个世界的那天,还起到了标示人生重大里程碑的作用。在美国,下列生日具有特别意义:
周岁不管我们记不记得,我们大都过了一个非常高兴的周岁生日,至少对我们的父母和家人是这样。我们的周岁生日是父母和亲人们的一个庆祝会,昭告世人他们拥有我们已满一整年了。欢呼吧!
16岁甜蜜的16岁,甜蜜?这个生日有什么可甜蜜的?可能是因为16岁标志着我们行将成年,这是童年和成年之间的过渡期。它是我们一生中一个非常短暂而独特的阶段。在这期间,我们逐渐成人,但还未失去儿童的天真,正同时拥有两个世界最美好的东西。
实际上,"甜蜜的16岁"常常更适用于女孩的16岁生日,而不是男孩。16岁的女孩,正接近长成女人。试想,花蕾正要绽放,第一次向这个世界崭露面容,这一转换过程蕴含着美感和甜蜜。我们的16岁生日是我们可以获得驾照的第一天,这是法律上迈向成人的一步。从这天起,我们不再需要父母驾车带我们开来开去到处走了。我们只要借他们的车用就行了。或许这是男孩们觉得16岁如此甜蜜的缘故,因为他们急盼着庆祝他们这个新获得的自主权。现在他们可以无需大人监督而自由开车了。哈哈!
18岁这一天是法定年龄,在法律上我们是成年人了。我们能对自己生活的各个方面负起全部责任。我们不再需要父母的同意就可到校外考察旅行,租看有限制等级的影片,办理医疗手续以及结婚等。如果老师对我们的成绩不满,他直接找我们本人。如果大夫?谈一下病情,他也只对我们自己讲。
直截了当地说吧,我们不再依赖别人了,而是要对自己的行为及其后果负全部责任的独立人了。而我们的父母成了顾问而不再是法定监护人了。实际上,许多美国人对那些已满18岁但仍指望并依赖自己父母照顾的人是不太喜欢的。当然,美国大多数家长甚至在孩子成人后都继续在他们的生活中起着非常重要和积极的作用。家长帮我们付大学学费,付买房的定金,还要提意见出主意。但核心问题是:满了18岁,我们就得自立了,不能再躲在爸爸、妈妈的身后了。
21岁大多数美国人以狂欢纵饮来庆祝这个生日,因为21岁在美国是法定的饮酒年龄。换言之,迈入21岁的那天,我们就进入了一个全新的社会层面。我们可以在就餐时来杯葡萄酒或在一间高档的鸡尾酒吧里享用高杯酒(掺有苏打水、姜汁酒的威士忌或白兰地),而不用担心因不到饮酒年龄而遭指控。此外,满21岁之后我们就可以进出酒吧、俱乐部及赌场了。在美国,所有供应酒的地方都会在允许我们进入或提供服务之前要求我们出示年龄证明。
30岁30是个而立之年。这个生日有什么特别的呢?依我看,30岁生日对许多人来说都是反省和深思的时候。我们回顾这些年来我们有些什么成就,并判断对自己的现状是否满意。30岁是个关键的年龄。我们不老但也不年轻了。也就是说,着手做自己一直想做的事还为时未晚,但要抓紧做,时光不等人。换句话说,30 岁是问自己许多重大问题的年龄:我想结婚吗?我想要孩子吗?我该娶我3年前认识的那个女人吗?我对自己的工作满意吗?干这一行我有前途吗?现在改行太晚吗?我该马上开始攒钱买房子吗?
问题还将继续问下去。最紧迫的问题就是要明白我们在生活中想要什么,并努力去实现这些目标。正如老话所说,"只要去做从不为晚。"但对30岁的人来说,我们没多少时光可以虚掷了。所以现在还该对自己说:"好吧,这正是我想要的,而这些是我要做的改变。让我们开始干吧,时不我待啊。"
当然,我们千万别忘了重要的是要按自己的具体情况行事。制定自己的时间规划。不要因为是自己的生日而做某事,而要准备为每个里程碑的到来承担责任而做事。当我们感到有信心驾车于滚滚车流中时再去申请驾照;饮酒知道节制;想做家长时再要孩子;爱人就要钟情。在生活中,我们要么长大了,要么变老了。但我们自己可以选择其中一种。享受生日吧,吹灭蜡烛许个愿:"愿我们的下一个生日比这个更好!"
注释:
1.volunteer vt.(后接不定式)自愿(做)
2.giveahand给予帮助,助一臂之力
3.biography n.传记
4.capture vt.(用照片等)留存
5.highlight n.最重要(或最有趣)的事件(或时刻等)
6.poreover专心阅读,钻研
7.chronological adj.按年月顺序排列的
8.dawnon被理解,被领悟,被想到
9.signpost n.路标
10.interim n.间歇,过渡期间
11.autonomy n.自由,自主权
12.fieldtrip n.(学生的)校外考察旅行
13.R-rated有限制级的,R=restricted
14.frown vi.表示不悦(或愤怒、不赞同)
15.bestow vt.把…赠与,把…给予
16.highball n.高杯酒(搀有威士忌或白兰地等烈酒的饮料)
17.lounge n.雅座酒吧
18.casino n.(有表演、舞池等的)卡西诺赌场
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