英语幽默精读【85】Post Haste
My husband asked me to go to the post office to mail his resume in anticipation of a job interview. He instructed me to send it the fastest way possible.
Struck by the urgency in his voice, I grabbed a handful of change and dashed out the door. Arriving at the post office, I rushed to the counter and breathlessly explained to the clerk that my envelope had to be delivered immediately . He casually weighed the envelope and said it would cost $ 10.03.I fumbled through my pockets and tallied up my coins. "But I don't have $ 10. 03, " I said. He punched some more buttons and said, "Okay, that will be $ 7. 40, ma am.
Once more I said in dismay, "Sorry, I don't have $ 7.40.
"Well," he sighed, "exactly how much do you have?"
I meekly answered, "I have exactly $ 2. 15, sir."
With that, he yelled over his shoulder to a coworker, "Hey, Charlie, get the pigeon ready.
※ Notes
（1） resume n. 履历
（2） anticipation n.期望
（3） dash v.急奔；猛冲
（4） breathlessly adv.上气不接下气地
（5） casually adv.漫不经心地
（6） fumble v.摸索
（7） tally up算上
（8） punch v.敲；击
（9） dismay n.困惑；茫然
（10） meekly adv.谦和地
※ Exercises
根据短文选择正确答案：
① What did the husband asked the wife to do?
A. to get up early
B. to get out of the door
C. to post his resume
D. to go to his office
② From the passage we can see
A. the husband was applying for a job
B. the husband was bad tempered
C. the husband was always rude to his wife
D. the husband was anticipating a new clerk
③ How was the wife when she got to the post office?
A. She was pale.
B. She was breathless.
C. She was angry.
D. She was worried.
④ How much money did the wife have in total?
A. $ 10.03
B. $ 7.40
C. $ 2.15
D. $ 9.55
⑤ What does the last sentence in the passage imply?
A. The woman would get the letter posted in the fastest way
B. The woman probably wouldn't get the letter posted fast.
C. A pigeon would be used to post her letter fast.
D. The clerk refused to post the letter for her.
※ 译文
邮政快递
我丈夫让我到邮局寄他的履历，期望能得到工作面试的机会。他告诉我要用尽可能快的方式把它寄出去。
我感到他语气紧急，就抓了一把零钱，冲出了家门。到了邮局，我冲到柜台，上气不接下气地向职员解释说我的信必须马上寄出。他漫不经心地称了一下信的重量，说邮费是十元零三分。我翻遍了我的口袋，把所有的硬币都算上。“可是我没有十元零三分，”我说。他又敲了几个键，然后说：“那好吧，七元四角，夫人。”
我又一次茫然地说：“对不起，我没有七块四。”
“那，”他叹了口气，“确切地说你有多少？”
我很谦和地回答道：“我有整整两块一角五分，先生。”
听了这话，他转过头向身后的同事喊道：“嗨，查理，准备好鸽子。”
※ 练习参考答案
①C②A③B④C⑤B
幽默 英语本文地址：http://www.dioenglish.com/writing/humor/89354.html
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