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【大作文精益求精】雅思写作社会类话题9分范文解析

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备考雅思写作考试,考生要掌握方法也要多看看优秀范文,从中学习精华之处。本文为大家带来雅思写作社会类满分范文解析,想要取得写作高分的考生们一定要多多参考学习呢,相信你会从中大有收获。

首先我们还是来分析一下社会类话题的简介:社会类的话题是雅思各类话题写作中涵盖面最广泛的一类写作,也是常考的一类题目。其话题涉及衣,食,住,行的各个方面,如传统服装与流行服饰、快餐与传统烹饪、建筑布局设计与旧房拆迁、交通堵塞与私人汽车的限制等; 老人、青少年、妇女、少数民族等弱势群体方面的现象与问题,如尊重老人、青少年犯罪、工作中的性别歧视、少数民族的生存困难; 国际旅游与移民等方面的利弊; 医疗、健康、工作压力、竞争、读书学习等方面的社会现象与观念的讨论。

在了解了社会类话题的简介之后,想必大家很迫不及待想分析一篇真正的满分社会类作文了,先别急,还是让我们再来回顾一下雅思大作文的四项评分标准:

Task response(TR):

Whether all parts of the task are addressed

Whether a viewpoint is clearly expressed, developed and supported

要完成大作文的TR一定要完成题目要求,并且要给出清晰的扣题的观点,并进行论证。所以大作文的论证一定要充分并且有效。

Cohesion and coherence (CC):

Whether the response has a suitable layout and logical ordering of points

(文章是否条理清晰,行文有逻辑)

Correct and appropriate use of connectives

(是否正确使用衔接词)

Lexical resources (LR):

Range and accuracy of vocabulary (词汇丰富度和准确度)

The correct form and spelling of the words (词汇形式和拼写正确)

Grammatical range and accuracy (GRA):

The range and accuracy of tenses and sentence structure (时态和句式的丰富度和准确度)

Ok,就让我们带着这四项评分标准,一起来看一下一篇满分社会类作文是如何达到了考官的要求,拿到满分的。

题目:

Fast food is now universally available in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not.

What are your opinions on this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

范文:

The past 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in the availability of fast food. Some laud its convenience and relatively low cost; however, in this easy I intend to argue that this kind of food is detrimental both to the individuals that consume it and to society at large. There are two primary reasons for this.

First of all, it is an undeniable fact that consuming fast food to excess results in serious health problems. Food such as fried chicken, hamburgers and chips---which are incredibly high in fat and salt---are responsible for such ailments as high blood pressure, obesity and heart disease. Moreover, although I certainly agree that fast food is both affordable and convenient, the cost and inconvenience of treating the illness it causes in later life are significant. In other words, while fast food is beneficial in the short term, its long-term effects are generally negative.

Further and even more importantly, though, some fast food chains deliberately attempt to attract children in order to shape their future eating habits. One particularly good example of this is the character Ronald McDonald---the bright clothes and smile of the McDonalds clown are a beacon to children. Having grown up eating in McDonalds restaurants, people are likely to continue eating there throughout their adult lives. It is also interesting to note that McDonalds provides playgrounds and frequently holds children’s birthday parties in order to attract young children and their parents.

By way of conclusion, I believe that fast food will continue to become more popular as the pace of this increases. Give the health risks associated with this trend; I believe that public education campaigns warning people about the dangers of fast food would be warranted.

(288 words)

Task Response (TR):

首先,我们一同来看一下这篇范文在TR的精彩表现:

Whether all parts of the task are addressed

经过审题我们发现,这篇文章给我们的任务是:

1,对于这个快餐消极和积极方面给出自己的一个观点;

2,给出具体的例子或者自己的知识来论证;

3,至少写250个字。

关于快餐文化这个社会类的话题,我们经过审题发现这是一个个人观点类的话题,What are your opinions on this即给出你自己的观点。在首段的作者开门见山的指出in this easy I intend to argue that this kind of food is detrimental both to the individuals that consume it and to society at large即作者的观点是快餐对消费者以及整个社会都是有害的。那作者是否完成了第二个任务呢?我们可以接着往后看,第二段以及第三段,作者用了大段篇幅来证明自己的观点,并且还有一个总结段。并且整篇文章的篇幅是288,完成了第二项和第三项的任务。

Whether a viewpoint is clearly expressed, developed and supported

接下来我们就来看一下这篇文章观点的表达是否充分有说服力呢?

看第二段我们不难发现作者的第一个观点是it is an undeniable fact that consuming fast food to excess results in serious health problems即过度食用快餐会导致严重的健康问题。那文章是怎么来论证这个观点的呢? 作者第一个论点论证的时候运用了道理论证,鞭辟入里的讲到炸鸡,汉堡,薯片这样的快餐含有高脂肪高盐量会导致高血压,肥胖病以及心脏病。第二个论点作者写道快餐产业链有意识的吸引儿童并且塑造了他们将来的饮食习惯,并且使用了举例论证,以麦当劳为例,麦当劳餐厅采取一系列措施,让年轻人形成一种习惯。非常的具体形象的例子让读者更加信服!

Cohesion and Coherence(CC):

这篇文章的在连贯程度上也非常的值得我们借鉴:

第一段中句与句直接的连接词有however,表示转折; 第二段中有moreover进一步说; in other words换句话说;though尽管等等;这些连接词连接上下句,可以使句子更加的通顺。

段与段直接的连接词有:first of all首先,further and even more importantly更重要的是,by way of conclusion总结。段与段直接的连接词或者短语,可以使文章过度的更加自然,起到了承上启下的作用。

Lexical resources (LR)

那么文章在词汇方面又有哪些值得我们学习的呢?

Dramatic increase 急速增加

Availability 可利用性

Laud 赞美

Be Detrimental to 有害的

At large 整体

Undeniable fact 不可否认的事实

Be responsible for 有责任

Ailment 疾病

Affordable 买得起的

Beneficial 有利的

Deliberately 故意地

Fast food chain 快餐产业链

As the pace of 跟随步伐

Associated with 与…相关

Public education campaign 宣传教育活动

Warranted 有保证的

这些单词或词组都是有很亮点的加分词汇,可以给自己的文章增光。我们应该多积累不同话题的相关词汇,更好的运用到自己的写作中。

Grammar range and accuracy (GRA)

文章在语法方面也显示出来很扎实的功底:

开头的第一句话就是一个很地道的表达:The past 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in the availability of fast food用时间做主语,过去的50年见证了快餐的快速发展,这样写达到了主语多样性的一个作用。其次it is an undeniable fact that consuming fast…放在了第二段的开头,作者很巧妙的把好的句式都放在很显眼的地方,非常的聪明,我们也可以学习这样的手法。这句话中it is… 这里是一个形式主语,真正的主句是后面的that从句。Food such as fried chicken, hamburgers and chips---which are incredibly high in fat and salt---are responsible for…这句话中的两个破折号,是一个插入语,起到了解释说明的作用,可以使文章的句式表达更具有多样性,标点符号的使用也是一个加分项。之后的Having grown up eating in…用到了非谓语做主语。总之这篇文章语法很正确,句式很多样。

最后我们还是来总结一下写好一篇满分社会类作文要做到那几点呢?

1,首先了解社会类的话题,对各个问题有自己独到的一个见解。

2,多积累社会类话题的词汇,短语,可以词汇的正确专业能够使整个文章水平上升一个高度。

3,审题清楚,了解问题要应试者回答哪几个问题,完成所有的任务。

4,论点要清晰,表达清楚,论证要有说服力,可以用到道理论证,举例论证和对比论证等等。

5,语法要正确,尽量使文章的句式保持多样性。

以上就是小站为大家带来的雅思写作社会类满分范文解析的具体介绍,考生们要在平时多多练习,孰能生巧才能制胜。希望考生朋友们考出满意的雅思成绩!

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本文标题:【大作文精益求精】雅思写作社会类话题9分范文解析 - 雅思作文_雅思写作_雅思范文
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