What Mother Taught Me
My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done:
“If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning!”
My mother taught me religion:
“You'd better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
My mother taught me about time travel:
“If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
My mother taught me logic:
“Because I said so, that's why!”
My mother taught me foresight:
“Be sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident.”
My mother taught me about contortion:
“Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!”
My mother taught me about stamina:
“You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished.”
My mother taught me about weather:
“It looks as if a tornado swept through your room.”
My mother taught me how to solve physics problems:
“If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?”
My mother taught me about hypocrisy:
“If I've told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!!!”
My mother taught me about envy:
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!”
翻译提示:
母亲教我的
我母亲教我如何珍惜他人辛苦劳动:
“如果你们要打架,到外边打去――我刚整理好房间!”
我母亲教我什么是宗教:
“你最好祈祷那个东西能从地毯下冒出来。”
我母亲教我什么是时间旅行:
“你要是不改,我把你一把推到下周三!”(意为:不让过周末。)
我母亲教我什么是逻辑:
“为什么?因为我就是这么说的!”
我母亲教我什么是远见:
“一定要穿干净内衣,以防万一你遇到事故。”
我母亲教我什么是柔体杂技:
“你能不能看看你脖子后面的泥!”
我母亲教我什么是耐力:
“坐在那儿,直到把所有的菠菜吃完。”
我母亲教我认识天气:
“好像有龙卷风席卷过你的房间。”
我母亲教我如何解决物理学问题:
“如果我高声叫喊,是因为我看见有一颗流星正朝你俯冲而来,那你会不会听我的话?”
我母亲教我什么是伪善:
“如果我曾告诉过你一次,我实际上已告诉过你百万次――不许夸张!!!”
我母亲教我什么是嫉妒:
“这世界上有数百万不幸的孩子,他们可没有你这么好的父母。”
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