男女有别
1. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
未来：女人直到找到丈夫前都在担心未来；男人找到妻子后开始担心未来。
2. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
名字：要是劳蕊，琳达，伊丽莎白和芭芭拉出去吃饭，她们互相称呼劳蕊，琳达，伊丽莎白和芭芭拉 ；要是马克，克瑞斯、埃瑞克和汤姆出去吃饭，他们会互相亲密地称作胖子、恶狼、癞头和废材。
3. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
在外面吃饭：埋单的时候，马克，克瑞斯、埃瑞克和汤姆每人都甩出20块钱，虽然其实一共只吃了32块5。没人有更小的票子了，也没人愿意承认他们其实想要回该找的零钱。女人埋单时，每人掏出个计算器。
4. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.
钱：用得着的东西，要是值1块钱却卖2块，男人也会买；用不着的东西，要是值2块钱却只卖1块，女人也会买。
5. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The averagenumber of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
浴室：男人浴室里五件宝：牙刷，刮胡膏，剃须刀，一块肥皂，一块毛巾。一般来说，女人浴室里平均有337样东西，其中的大多数，男人不知道那是干啥用的。
6. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that…… is the beginning of a new argument.
争论：任何争论都是由女人来说最后一句话。男人在此之后说的任何话……都是新的争吵的开端。
7. CATS
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
猫：女人喜欢猫。男人说他们也喜欢，但当女人看不到时，男人踢猫。
8. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change! And she does.
婚姻：女人嫁给一个男人，希望他能改变，可他不；男人娶了一个女人，希望她永远不变，可她变了。
9. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
穿戴整齐：为了买东西，浇花，倒垃圾，接电话，读书，取信，女人都会穿戴整齐；男人穿戴整齐时，他是要去参加婚礼或者葬礼。
10. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
自然：男人起床后和上床前看起来都差不多；女人过一晚上容颜会变糟。
幽默 笑话本文地址：http://www.dioenglish.com/writing/humor/41531.html
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