英语阅读，轻松一刻
本段文字选自马克吐温的《汤姆·索亚历险记》。这是一段两个孩子打架时的对话，一来一往，互不示弱，充分体现童言风格，十分精彩。
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
“I can lick you!”
“I’d like to see you try it.”
“Well, I can do it.”
“No, you can’t, either.”
“Yes, I can.”
“No, you can’t.”
“I can.”
“You can’t.”
“Can.”
“Can’t.”
—— Mark Twain
下面几篇有趣的笑话，让人忍俊不禁。不妨讲给你的朋友们听，让他们也分享这小小的快乐，且又锻炼了英语表达能力，可谓一举多得。
Important to Learn a Second Language
A family of mice was being chased by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and said,“Bow-wow!” The surprised cat ran away scared. “What was that, Father?” asked
Baby Mouse. “Well, son, that’s why it’s important to learn a second language.” Wherever I Touch, It Hurts
A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.”
The doctor asks, “What do you mean?”
The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee—
OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.”
The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you—you’ve broken your finger!”
What can I do?
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to bebreathing and his eyes are glazed over. The other guy whips out his cellphone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?” Theoperator says, “Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, nowwhat?”
Whose Father was the Stronger
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said, “Well,
you know the Pacific Ocean? My father’s the one who dug the hole for it.”
Bill wasn’t impressed, “Well, that’s nothing. You know the Dead Sea? My father’s
the one who killed it!”
“Good-bye, Money.”
On a trip to Disney once we were.
World in Florida, my husband and I and our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we
headed for home.
As we drove away, our son waved and said, “Good-bye, Mickey.”
Our daughter waved and said, “Good-bye, Minnie.”
My husband waved, rather weakly, and said, “Good-bye, Money.”
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