手机版

英语笑话Jackasses jokes

阅读 :

  A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his FLASHlight around,looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying “Jesus is watching you.” the thief nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his FLASHlight off and froze.

  When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables.

  Just as he pulled the stereo so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, “Jesus is watching you.” Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically looking for the source of the voice.

  Finally, in the corner of the room, FLASHlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

  “Did you say that?” he hissed at the parrot.

  “Yep,” the parrot confessed, “I'm just trying to warn you.” the burglar relaxed. “Warn me, huh? Who the are you?”

  “Moses,” replied the bird.

  "Moses??!!" the burglar laughed. "What kind of stupid people would name a parrot Moses?"

  “Probably the same kind of people that would name a rottweiler Jesus,” the bird answered.

更多 英语笑话英语小笑话英文笑话英语幽默小故事,请继续关注 英语作文大全

笑话 幽默 英语
本文标题:英语笑话Jackasses jokes - 英语笑话_英文笑话_英语幽默小故事
本文地址:http://www.dioenglish.com/writing/humor/71816.html

相关文章

  • The First Day as a Taxi Driver

    A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a sh...

    2019-01-06 英语笑话
  • 升级版的补丁--双语幽默漫画
    升级版的补丁--双语幽默漫画

    "Install a patch for the update of the new version.If that doesn't work,install the new version of the update for the patch.If all else fails,install a patch for the new version of the update...

    2018-10-30 英语笑话
  • Bassoon jokes

      Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?  A: To get away from the bassoon recital.  Q: Why is a bassoon better than an oboe?  A: The bassoon burns longer.  Q: What is a burning oboe good for? ...

    2018-12-10 英语笑话
  • 出色的回答

      My five-year-old son was not picking up his toys while I was preparing dinner as I had asked him. When I inquired why he wasn't doing his chores, he said that he didn't feel like it. Exasperate...

    2018-12-27 英语笑话
  • 坏消息和可怕的消息

    The Bad News and the Terrible News Michael sat in his attorney's office. "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer asked. "Give me the bad news first." "Your wife found a pict...

    2019-01-19 英语笑话
  • Christmas Jokes for Kids:圣诞节献给儿童的英语笑话
    Christmas Jokes for Kids:圣诞节献给儿童的英语笑话

    What’s white and goes up? A confused snowflake! What do you call an old snowman? Water! What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow! What goes: now you...

    2018-10-29 英语笑话
  • 英语幽默小故事带翻译:Home alone 独自在家(中英双语)

    159.Home alone159.独自在家My wife will go to any extreme to keep people from,knowing she is home alone. One evening when I was working late,my wife heard a knock on th...

    2018-11-03 英语笑话
  • 始终如一的一句话-英汉英汉双语笑话

    how much is it?多少钱?it was winter, and mrs. hermann wanted to do a lot of shopping, so she waited until it was saturday, when her husband was free, and she took him to the shops with her to...

    2018-10-30 英语笑话
  • Father's Things

      When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tall as his father, so he began to borrow Mr. Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening.  Mr. Howard did not...

    2018-12-07 英语笑话
  • 外国最新英语幽默笑话精粹192:纪念日(中英)
    外国最新英语幽默笑话精粹192:纪念日(中英)

    When Bill and Hillary first got married, Bill said, "I am putting a box under our bed. You must promise never to look in it.” In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. However...

    2018-11-01 英语笑话
你可能感兴趣