英文笑话:Stress Reliever

　　Stress Reliever　# 1

　　Hubby： You always　carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why？

　　Wife： When there　is a problem， no matter how impossible， I look at your picture and the　problem disappears.

　　Hubby： You see， how　miraculous and powerful I am for you？

　　Wife： Yes， I see　your picture and say to myself， "What other problem can > there be greater　than this one ？" ___________________________________________________________

　　Stress Reliever　# 2

　　Girl： When we get　married， I want to share all your worries， troubles and lighten your burden.

　　Boy： It's very kind　of you， darling， But I don't have any worries or troubles.

　　Girl： Well that's　because we aren't married yet. __________________________________________________________

　　Stress Reliever　# 3

　　Son： Mom， when I　was on the bus with Dad this morning， he told me to give up my seat to　a lady.

　　Mom： Well， you have　done the right thing.

　　Son： But mum， I was　sitting on daddy's lap.

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　　Stress Reliever　# 4

　　Wife to husband：　"What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night？"

　　Husband to wife：　"Golfing with friends， my dear."

　　Wife to husband：　"What？ At 2 a.m？！"

　　Husband to wife：　"Yes， We used night clubs." __________________________________________________________

　　Stress Reliever　# 5

　　A newly married man　asked his wife，"Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me　a fortune？" "Honey，" the woman replied　sweetly， "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

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　　Stress Reliever　# 6

　　Father to son after　exam："let me see your report card."

　　Son： "My friend just　borrowed it.He wants to scare his parents."

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　　Stress Reliever　# 7

　　"How was your blind　date？" a college student asked her roommate.

　　"Terrible！" the roommate　answered. "He showed up his 1932 Rolls Royce."

　　Wow！ That's a very　expensive car. What's so bad about that？"

　　"He was the original　owner."

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　　Stress Reliever　# 8

　　In a tiny village　lived an old maid. In spite of her old age， she was still a virgin. She　was very proud of it. She knew her last days were getting closer， so she　told the local undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on　her tombstone："Born as a virgin， lived as a virgin， died as a virgin."

　　Not long after， the　old maid died peacefully， and the undertaker told these men what the lady　had said. The men went to carve it in， but as the Lazy no-goods they were，　they thought the inscription to be unnecessarily long. They simply wrote：　"Returned unopened."

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　　Stress Reliever　# 9

　　A teacher asked her　class for sentences using the word "beans"……

　　"My father grows　beans，" said one student.

　　"My father cooks　beans，" said another.

　　Then little Johnny　spoke up ： "We are all human beans."

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　　Stress Reliever　# 10

　　Teacher ： Let's take　the example of the busy ant. He is busy all the time， works all day and　every day. Then what happens？

　　Little Johnny： He　gets stepped on.

　　Submitted　by Rostam

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