英文笑话:Twisted Humors
What is the definition of Confidence？ When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you slap her on the ass and say， "You're next！"
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How are prostitution and bungie jumping the same？
they last about the same amount of time. they cost about the same and if the rubber breaks， your dead.
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If you are having sex with 2 women and one more woman walks in， what do you have？ Divorce proceedings， most likely.
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If I had a rooster， and you had a donkey， and your donkey ate my rooster's >legs……what would you have？ Two feet of my cock in your ass.
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What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common？ They both like a tight seal.
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Who won the skeleton beauty contest？ No body Three important questions to ask an alien before having sex： （1） Are you carrying any diseases which might be communicable to humans？ （2） Have you had sex with any high-risk partners in the past six months？ （3） Which one is your mouth？
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A man and his wife are watching the boxing on TV. The husband sighs and says， "I'm disappointed！ It was all over in four minutes." The wife replies， "Good！ Now you know how I feel."
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What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale？ A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time……" A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit……"
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What's a Hormone？ The sound a prostitute makes so you will think that you are a real good lay.
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Attorney to witness： "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning？"
Witness： "Where am I Cathy？"
Attorney： "And why did that upset you？"
Witness： "Because my name is Susan."
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What does walking a tightrope over the Grand Canyon have in common with receiving oral sex from Hillary Clinton？ The warning is the same： "For God's Sake， Don't Look Down！"
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Did you hear about the $3，000，000 Tennessee State Lottery？ The winner gets $3 a year for a million years
Submitted by Suzy
英文 笑话本文地址：http://www.dioenglish.com/writing/humor/73646.html
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