名人家书：阿黛尔迪莱乌致 姐姐（1） 中英双语

　　my dearest，

　　you've gone.and i can never get you backagain——except by talking to you.it's childish，iknow.but perhaps it will give me some relief fromthe pent-up sorrow that makes me feel as if myheart will burst.

　　how often we gently scorned the people whoused euphemisms for death！“she has left us.”“hehas passed over.”where was their strength，wewondered，that they could not acknowledge deathfor what it was，and speak of it as death？i understand them a little better now.but at least iwill demand of myself the will to call death by itsown name.

　　i know what they were trying to do.theywere attempting to conceal the ultimate finality……at least until they could bear it.nature bestows anumbness on us at first，giving us time to adjust tothe brutal truth.but the numbness does not lastlong enough，and the truth breaks through the veiland stabs us again and again.

　　friends have been marvelous.they have surrounded me with affection and concern；theytalk or fall silent as they perceive my mood；theybring gifts of flowers or themselves；they plan littleoutings and include me in their gatherings.theywrite letters that make the tears stream down myface，because they appreciated you so……they tellme，in warm words，how sweet you were，how brilliant，how witty，how talented，and how blessedthey were to know you.it is a comfort to read oftheir appreciation，to realize that they were awareof all your wonderful qualities.but my loss，as i goover their words，grows greater and greater.i amutterly bereft.i have been abandoned；i feel as if apart of me has been amputated.for we were soclose，we knew each other so well，we were soattuned to each other's moods——different thoughwe were in a dozen respects.

　　there was one letter that helped me more thanmost.it came from an editor whom you never met.she told me something which has been a kind ofbulwark，for she said，“no one truly dies who isremembered with love.”

　　and i know this is true.i remember you withlove.i remember everything about you，with undying love.when i think i cannot stand theloneliness any more，something will come to mind，something that i loved in you and it gives me thecourage，if only momentarily，to go on.

　　so that is what i will do，as i write to you.iwill think of the things that made our life togetherthe charmed experience it was.i will remember youwith love.

　　我的唯一：

　　我几乎不敢相信你已经离开我整整一年了。从一方面说，这是我生命中最漫长的一年，最可怕的一年，也是最黑暗的一年。但从另一方面说，似乎我们那次最后的相见就发生在昨天，你脸上带着淡淡的、美丽的微笑，因为你终于找到了安宁。我站在病床前，注视着你，似乎永远也看不够……当我意识到我已失去了你的时候，由于悲伤我变得麻木了。

　　你在病痛中生活了那么久。你为此而写的那首诗让我心如刀绞，因为这来自于你的内心。你时常告诉我，你不惧怕死亡，当死亡来临时你会愉快地迎接它。但你也曾许诺尽可能长久地与我待在一起，你的确如此做了，尽管你希望自己离去。现在死亡像朋友一样到来了，你得到自由了。

　　而我如今却被束缚住了。我被束缚在生活中、束缚在悲痛中，失去了你，我被迫独自继续生活下去。

　　我曾经努力地挽留你；我曾经回避那不可回避的事实，似乎只要我忽视它就可以战胜它。当我站在你的身旁，我才最终知道我面对的是什么，这几乎使我无法承受。

　　正是从那时起，我开始给你写信，那些信使我明白我欠了你那么多，我从你那里得到了那么多。那些信拯救了我，也许现在我已能足够坚强地生活下去——不是如我过去所认为的那样失去了你，而是与你同在。如同那语言清晰完美的编辑所说的那样，被人们满怀爱戴之情回忆的人是不会真正死去的，而我正是满怀爱戴之情回忆你，用我心里的全部的爱。