Happiness：通往幸福之路 就在脚下

"You are the only one who can make you happy." We have all heard that so many times in our lives. There are times it is a pretty tough pill to swallow. In reality, the people that surround you have a huge impact on your current mood. When your children are grumpy in the morning, you find a nice pile the dog left you over night, you hit the road and the traffic won't allow you your normal speed, then when you get to work and your co-worker called in sick... these are all things that might contribute to your overall Happiness of the day.

However, moods and temporary emotions are not the same as happiness. Happiness exists when you look at the overall picture of your life and you smile, that is happiness. You know those times when you can't wait for your children to go to bed, then later you check on the kids and you almost cry because they look exactly like angels... YOUR ANGELS, sleeping so sweetly and soundly. You can hardly remember a time of irritation with them. That is Happiness.

As life progresses and changes, we realize that who we are, (what makes us, us)... that is what we are responsible for. We know that immediate gratification or irritation only pacifies or deteriorates our emotional stimuli short term. Our global view of how we see ourselves determines our state of mind. Our state of mind determines our Happiness.

So, how do we take control of our emotions and find the path of Happiness? This seems to be the million dollar question. There are tons of books on or related to the subject. You could read and practice until you are completely confused. Or, we could spend the rest of our life introspectively evaluating what makes us happy. Which might take more time and energy and actually frustrate us more.

How about this? What if we looked at ourselves and decided what we liked and didn't like and set about making changes. It doesn't have to be major alterations. Maybe you are tired of your house but can't afford to move. Try painting the living room or buying flowers to set on the kitchen table. If you haven't had a vacation for awhile and just can't afford to take that cruise, go camping instead.

Maybe the issues are more personal or internal. Do you get mad too easily? Learn yoga or meditation. Are you having marital problems? Visit a counselor. Are the kids having discipline issues? Determine the major issues, establish guidelines on how you are going to correct the problem and stick to it.

You may be saying, 'Sure, that sounds so easy but...' Of course it sounds easy. Problems are always easier to talk about than to take the obvious actions to fix them. But, for the most part, things are as difficult or as easy as we determine them to be. Sometimes we just make things harder than necessary.

If your unhappiness stems from a situation beyond your control then find other ways to compensate. If, for example, money is so tight and no apparent windfall is coming your way any time soon, find inexpensive entertainment. Backyard ballgames, picnics in the park, movie night with popcorn and snacks in your bedroom are a few alternatives to an expensive night out. If the issues are more serious and you feel powerless, that is the time to seek professional help.

Otherwise, look in the mirror and be glad. If you don't like what you see, change it. Make the solution that simple!

 

“你是唯一能让自己幸福的人”。我们不止一次听到这句话，有时候我 们认为它难以理解。现实生活中周围的人会给你的心情造成很大的影响。一大早孩子就耍脾气；狗狗昨晚把屋里搞得一团糟；上班的路上堵车；终于到了办公室，与 你共事的同事却打电话请病假...。这些事情都可能影响你这一天的幸福指数。

然而，幸福不同于心情和稍纵即逝的情绪。幸福是回顾自己生活时的会心微笑，因为知道会有这样的时刻：孩子们不愿按时睡觉，可是过会儿再去查看时，他们已经天使一般睡的很甜，他们是你的天使。此刻，你已经完全忘记刚才的愤怒。这就是幸福。

生命不息，变化不止。渐渐地，我们认清自己，了解自己，明白我们肩上的重担。我们知道一时的感激或愤怒只能短时间内抚平或激化我们的情绪。对自己的整体认识才是决定我们心境的因素。而幸福正取决于我们的心境。

那么，如何控制情绪并找到通往幸福之路呢？这个问题极为重要。与此相关的书数不胜数。你读书，按照书中的指示练习，最终却越来越迷惑；在余下的日子里回味之前的生活，找出带给你幸福的元素，然而花费了更多的时间和精力，却愈感挫败。

我们不防试着这样，首先审视自我，找出自己的喜好，并据此做出改变。大刀阔斧地变革并无必要。比如，你不喜欢现在的房子却无力支付一个新房子，不妨重新粉刷卧室，或在餐桌上放瓶鲜花。再比如你很久没有度假，对于腐败旅游又囊中羞涩，那么去野营吧。

问题可能更私密或独特。易怒？学习瑜伽或静坐。婚姻不和谐？咨询顾问。孩子不听话？找出他们主要的问题，制定惩罚措施并严格执行。

你可能会说，“说起来容易，但是...”。当然，任何事情都是说起来容易做起来难。但是在很大程度上，你认为事情有多难，它就有多难。有时候，你夸大了问题的难度。

如果你的不幸源于你无法掌控的形势，寻找其他方法。如果手头非常紧，近期又不太可能有飞来横财的话，那就选择便宜一点的娱乐方式，比如在后院打球，公园里 野餐，躺在卧室里边看电影边吃爆米花和零食，偶尔晚上出去高消费一下。如果你的问题非常严重以至于感到浑身乏力、无计可施，赶紧去寻求帮助吧。

要不然，看着镜子里的自己微笑吧。如果不喜欢自己看到的，试着改变。解决问题就是这么简单！

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