手机版

一份忍俊不禁的英文简历

阅读 :
面试人员给一位前来应征的男士一张履历表,于是就填了这样的信息——
  姓名:English or Chinese?英文的还是中文的?
  年龄:Confidential(这是私人问题)
  身高:Not related to the job(这跟工作有关系么)
  体重:Varies all the time before lunch or after(随时改变,饭前饭后都不同)
  居住地:At what stage of my life please be more specific(那是一个特别的地方,我生命的舞台)
  电话:Ericsson(爱立信手机)
  电子邮件:Only give to pretty and rich girls(只留给漂亮和富有的女孩)
  上班时间:The shorter the better(越短越好)
  应征职位:A position that has not much to do but surround by pretty and young girls(找一个不做什么实事,但能被美女包围的职位)
  学历:Graduated at the wild chicken university(毕业于一个你找不着的大学)
  语言能力:Fluent in bullshits(侃大山是专长)
  兴趣:Sleeping and sleeping(睡得天昏地暗)
  生日:正月初七
  经历:Fooling around all the time(游戏人生)
  曾任职位:Decent or not decent?please be more specific(高级的或者低级的都是一种经历)
  已婚未婚:Still looking for a rich and beautiful girl?hopefully can find in your company(我正在寻找漂亮又富有的女孩,希望在你们公司能找到)
  未来期望:Have a speech on stage and retire as soon as possible(只负责主席台讲话,并且希望尽早退休)
  希望待遇:Lesser workload the better(比实际工作量拿得多就行)

更多 英语笑话英语小笑话英文笑话英语幽默小故事,请继续关注 英语作文大全

本文标题:一份忍俊不禁的英文简历 - 英语笑话_英文笑话_英语幽默小故事
本文地址:http://www.dioenglish.com/writing/humor/19630.html

相关文章

  • 趣味图片英语笑话:counselling 辅导(双语)
    趣味图片英语笑话:counselling 辅导(双语)

    did you know that emma has a deep-rooted need for greater diversity in your text emoticons?你知道艾玛有多么的需要你的文本符号多样化?couples' counselling in the future未来夫妻的辅导 ...

    2018-11-02 英语笑话
  • Beyond Tolerance

      The doorbell rang and Mrs. Carson opened the front door. Her heart sank when she saw Mrs. Burbidge. Whenever Mrs. Burbidge called, she stayed for hours and hours.  "Good afternoon, Mrs. Carson...

    2018-12-25 英语笑话
  • 英汉幽默故事选读【66】

    The Cat and the Saucer  An antiques collector was passing a small shop when he noticed a cat on the sidewalk out front, licking milk from a saucer. The man immediately realized the saucer was ve...

    2019-01-06 英语笑话
  • 外国最新英语幽默笑话精粹176:一元钱(中英)
    外国最新英语幽默笑话精粹176:一元钱(中英)

    The teacher asked Tom:"Why did you come to school so late this morning?"老师问汤姆:“今天早上你为什么迟到了?”"Someone lost one dollar.”Answered Tom.“有个人丢了一块钱。”汤姆回答说。"Oh,n...

    2018-11-01 英语笑话
  • 英语幽默小故事带翻译:An easy way 轻而易举(中英双语)

    163.An easy way163.轻而易举Stepping from my kitchen into the garage, I accidentally locked myself out of the house. When I tried to persuade my 18-month-old son,Taylor...

    2018-11-03 英语笑话
  • 双语笑话 U married mine

    Little boy: Daddy, I want to get married.Father jokingly said: Oh! Who did you have in mind?Little boy: Grandma.Father: Wait a minute, you did not think I'd let you...

    2018-11-26 英语笑话
  • 双语笑话 I'm Trying to Stop It

    "Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?""No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it."“孩子,你为什...

    2018-11-25 英语笑话
  • Programmers Joke(1)

      Q:How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?  A:None. They just declare darkness the standard更多 英语笑话、英语小笑话、英文笑话、英语幽默小故事,请继续关注 英语作文大全...

    2019-01-02 英语笑话
  • 始终如一的一句话-英汉英汉双语笑话

    how much is it?多少钱?it was winter, and mrs. hermann wanted to do a lot of shopping, so she waited until it was saturday, when her husband was free, and she took him to the shops with her to...

    2018-10-30 英语笑话
  • 每日一笑(3.2)

    Three Reasons Teacher: Stone, give me three reasons why you know the Earth to be round. Stone: Ma says so, Pa says so, and you say so! 三条理由 老师:斯通,说出三条理由来...

    2018-11-19 英语笑话
你可能感兴趣