英汉双语笑话8
蝙蝠的问题
Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away."
Another said, "Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated, and they still won’t go away.""
The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen one back since!"
三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。其中的一个说道：“你们知道吗，自从夏天来临，我的教堂的阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰，我用尽了一切办法----噪音、喷雾、猫----似乎什么都不能把它们赶走。”
另外一位说：“是啊，我也是。在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只。我曾经请人把整个地方用烟熏消毒一遍，它们还是赶不走。”
第三个牧师说：“我为我那里的所有蝙蝠洗礼，让它们成为教会的一员......从此一只也没有再回来过。”
2.
反正我太太明天会来换的
My Wife Will Exchange Them
A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.
″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.
″Makes no difference ″replied customer.
″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.
″Any″ he responded.
″Size﹖″
″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″
反正我太太明天会来换的
一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。
“您是要布的还是皮的？”售货员问。
“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。
“那您要什么颜色的呢？”售货员又问。
“什么颜色都成。”他回答。
“号码呢？”
“您就随便给我拿一副吧，”这位顾客有点不耐烦了，“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”
3.
something Really Cheap
something Really Cheap
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.
“How about some perfume？”he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle.
“That’s a bit much,”said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.
“That’s still quite a bit,”Tim complained.
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.
“What I mean,”said Tim, “is I’d like to see something really cheap.”
The clerk handed him a mirror.
真正便宜的东西
做完生意回来后，提姆觉得应该给妻子带点什么礼物回去。
“那些香水怎么卖啊？”他问卖化妆品的售货员。售货员给他展示了一支价值50美元的香水。
“看起来好像有点贵哦！”提姆说道。于是售货员又拿出一款30美元的香水。
“还是贵了点。”提姆抱怨道。
售货员开始有点恼火了，就给提姆一瓶很小的香水，价值15美元。
“我的意思是，”提姆说，“我想看看一些真正便宜的东西。”
售货员听了后，递给了提姆一面镜子。
4.
Now We Run
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow, places his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles and asks, "And now what, my little man?" The boy replies, "Now we run!"
现在我们跑吧
一个牧师正沿着街走路，这时他看到街对面有个小男孩正试图按一所房子的门铃。但这个小孩太小了，门铃又高，他够不着。看到那个小男孩费了很多劲，牧师走近了他。牧师优雅地穿过马路，走到小家伙的背后，轻轻地把手放在小男孩肩头，按响了门铃。他弯下身子，微笑着问道：“接下来怎么办，孩子？”小男孩回答说：“接下来我们跑。”
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