The Unfortunate Thief
不幸的小偷
Carl lost his job. He tried to find another one but it wasn't easy. The poor fellow couldn't pay his bills1 because he had so little money, and he couldn't ask anybody to lend him.
Carl spent his days at home. He looked out of the window and watched his neighbour's house. An old professor lived there alone. He never talked to his neighbours. Carl could see into the professor's house because he never drew2 the curtain. The rooms were full of antique furniture and vases3. Carl thought, "Why haven't I got an antique vase? I could sell it for a lot of money."
Every day Carl saw the professor. He left at 10 o'clock in the morning and came home at 4 o'clock. He had a dog. Carl often went to the fence and played with it or give it a piece of meat.
One day Carl thought, "I will go into the professor's house and steal a vase. I will break the window and climb in. The dog is not a problem."
There was an old gun in the cellar4. It had been his great grandfather's5 favourite thing a long time before. Carl didn't want to use the gun but he thought, "Anything could happen."
He wanted to hide the gun under his coat but it was too long so he cut the end off with a saw6.
Next morning he watched the professor leaving home at 10 o'clock. Carl climbed over the fence. The dog ran to him and Carl gave it a big bone. He threw a piece of stone through the window, which broke. It wasn't high. He could climb into the house easily.
He looked around inside. There were paintings on the walls, small figures7 and vases on the shelves and the floor. Carl didn't know much about arts. He couldn't choose. He reached his hands towards a big vase when he heard a noise. The front door opened and someone entered the house.
It was the professor. He had forgotten to take an important document. Carl became afraid and pulled out the gun. The professor came into the room and saw him. "What are you doing in my house?" he asked angrily.
"I haven't stolen anything. I just want to go away or I will shoot," cried Carl.
"With that gun?" asked the professor and he began to laugh. He wasn't afraid of Carl.
He said, "You can't shoot with that antique gun. Its place is in a museum.8"
"Is this really an antique gun?" asked Carl. "How much is it worth?"
"It was worth about 17,000 dollars," said the professor. "But now you can get 10 dollars for it."
"Why? " asked Carl.
The professor said, "Because its end is missing."
1. pay one's bill：付帐单。
2. draw: 拉上（窗帘等）。
3. antique：古老的；vase：花瓶。
4. cellar：地窖，地下室。
5. great grandfather: 曾祖父；外曾祖父。
6. end：末尾，这里指枪托；saw：锯子。
7. figure：塑像。
8. 它的位置在博物馆里。意思是这杆枪是很值钱的古董。
英文 幽默本文地址：http://www.dioenglish.com/writing/humor/40224.html
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