English Humor Part 7

阅读 : 次

Is Tom Right?One evening Tom was sitting in a concert hall with his uncle, They were listening to the beautiful music.“Do you know music?” his uncle asked Tom.“Yes.”“Can you tell me what the young man is playing now?”“Yes. He is playing the piano now.” Tom answered with a smile.　He Swore to Die“If you refuse to marry me,” he swore, “I shall die,” She refused him.Sixty years later, he died.　Who Were the Other Two?An adjective has three qualitative degrees: good, better and best.The pernickety English grammar teacher married a man of quality. “You are the best woman in my life,” announced the groom on their wedding night.“And who were the other two?” angrily snapped the grammar-conscious bride.　PolitenessMother: Which apple do you want, tom?Tom: The biggest one.Mother: Why, Tom, you should be polite and take the little one.Tom: Well, Mum, should I lie just to be polite?　She Ate All My BaitThe young boy protested vigorously when his mother asked him to take his little sister to go fishing. “Last time she came,” he objected, “I didn't catch a single fish.”“I'll talk to her,” his mother said,” and I promise this time she won't make any noise.”“It wasn't the noise, Mum,” the boy replied. “She ate all my bait.”　I'll Learn the Latter HalfSon: Dad, is French very difficult to learn?Father: MY boy, at the beginning it is, but after that it becomes very easy.Son: That's great! I'll learn the latter half.　A Poor PoetPoet: I hope you have received the little Volume of poems I sent you.Woman: Oh, yes, I have. It's very nice. I wonder where I have put it?Her son: It's under leg of the table, Mum, to make it steady.　I'll Take TwoTall woman: Look! Here is a magazine that tells how to take five years off your face.Short Woman: Good! I'll take two of them!　The Opposite ResultAfter a year of treatment at a beauty parlor, a forty-year-old woman told her husband. “Miss Tina, who treats me, says that I looked almost fifty before the treatment, but now I look only about thirty.”After a while her husband said, “I'm afraid it's the opposite result.”　When to WriteJack is a college freshman and the school is away from his hometown. His parents have not heard from him for quite a long time. When they met their son upon his return for vacation and asked about it, Jack replied, “I found little time to write when I was busy, and found little to write when I am free.”　Let's Have a TryBefore a young lady bought a lipstick, she asked the shop assistant at the cosmetics counter.“Will the lipstick fade after being kissed?”The man clerk thought for a while and then answered, “Well, we can have a try first and see.”

更多英语笑话、英语小笑话、英文笑话、英语幽默小故事，请继续关注英语作文大全

本文标题：English Humor Part 7 - 英语笑话_英文笑话_英语幽默小故事
本文地址：http://www.dioenglish.com/writing/humor/22404.html

上一篇：英汉双语笑话集锦4-bilingual joke collection four 下一篇：English Humor Part 8

重点是事情而不是人--双语幽默漫画

"it's not what you know that matters or who you know.it's what you know about who you know!"你知道什么事儿或者你认识谁不重要，重要的是你知道关于你认识的人的事情。更多英...
2018-10-30 英语笑话
Some yogurt visits a local bar

　　Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender， who was a tub of cottage cheese， says to them， “We don't serve your kind in here.”　　One of the yogurt cartons says back to him， “Why not？...
2018-12-09 英语笑话
an interesting story

tom was playing video games while his mother was busy doing the housework. tom was thirsty and said to his mother,"mum,please bring me a cup of tea." "fetch it yourself,"his...
2018-11-19 英语笑话
Family Joke(13)

　　It is truly said that children brighten a home - they never turn the lights off.更多英语笑话、英语小笑话、英文笑话、英语幽默小故事，请继续关注英语作文大全幽默笑话...
2018-12-29 英语笑话
我是来装电话的

A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the busines...
2018-11-27 英语笑话
双语笑话搞笑英语格言

One should love anim als. They are so tasty. 每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃。Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水,尽量和女友一起洗澡。Behind every succes...
2018-11-25 英语笑话
外国最新英语幽默笑话精粹208：我们不能相信律师吗？(中英)

The justice department was trying a case against a company in New York，who had engaged the senior partner of the biggest law firm there, Alan Dean, to defend them. My father一in一law represent...
2018-11-01 英语笑话
Doctors Joke(11)

　　Jay went to a psychiatrist.“Doc，he said，”I‘ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed I think there is somebody under it. I get under the bed；I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top，under，und...
2018-12-29 英语笑话
因为我想给你打电话呀！

A guy burned two ears... so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened. 一个男人的两只耳朵都被烫伤了...在医院的时候别人就问他是如何烫到的。He said, "I was ironin...
2018-11-30 英语笑话
他一点儿也高兴不起来。

Tommy was four, and he liked pictures very much, but he was very bad at drawing. One day he wanted to draw a picture of his father, when he looked at the picture he had dr...
2018-11-28 英语笑话