双语笑话 Snorer 下地狱候选人
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon. As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon.
牧 师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。 一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好教育他一下，让他不要再在布道时睡觉。
So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise." Awaking with a start, the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit, "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
于是他低声对信徒们说：“想去天堂的人，都请站起来吧。”所有的人都站了起来——当然，除了那个打瞌睡的人。在低声说过请坐后，牧师高声喊道：“想去下地狱的人请站起来！” 打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了，他站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气的看着他。这个人说道：“噢，先生，我不知道我们在选什么，但看上去只有你 和我是候选人。”
【词汇讲解】
1.snore打鼾。 How frightful to have a husband who snores!有一个发鼾声的丈夫多讨厌啊
2.vexed生气的。也有“争论不休的”的意思： They’re discussing the vexed question of private health insurance.他们正在讨论个人健康保险这个总让人争论不休的问题。
3.congregation (教堂里的)会众。The congregation knelt to pray.会众跪下来祈祷
4.sermon讲道。也可以指“一大通教训”：Don't preach me a sermon, please.请不要对我讲大道理。
5.start惊吓。“awaking with a start”就是“惊醒”的意思。
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