趣味英语：一份很雷的大学入学申请书
this is an actual essay written by a college applicant, when applying to nyu where he now attends.
i am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. i have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. i translate ethnic slurs for cuban refugees, i write award-winning operas, i manage time efficiently. occasionally, i tread water for three days in a row.
i woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, i can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and i cook thirty-minute brownies in twenty minutes. i am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in peru.
using only a hoe and a large glass of water, i once single-handedly defended a small village in the amazon basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. i play bluegrass cello, i was scouted by the mets, i am the subject of numerous documentaries. when i'm bored, i build large suspension bridges in my yard. i enjoy urban hang gliding. on wednesdays, after school, i repair electrical appliances free of charge.
本文地址：http://www.dioenglish.com/writing/humor/4676.html
相关文章
-
Sport Joke(1)
John received a free ticket to the Super Bowl. Unfortunately. John‘s seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the stadium. He noticed an...
2019-01-04 英语笑话 -
外国最新英语幽默笑话精粹110：两元钱(中英)
Jim walked into a store, which had a sign outside: "Second一hand clothes bought and sold.” He was carrying an old pair of pants and asked the owner of the store, "How much will you give me f...
2018-11-01 英语笑话 -
英汉双语笑话：比你跑得快就够了
two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. the bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. the...
2018-10-29 英语笑话 -
我教老师 I Taught the Teacher
Mother asked her little boy， “Darling， what did the teacher teach you today？” “Nothing， Mum，” answered the son proundly， “instead， she asked me how much one plus two was， and I told her three....
2018-12-04 英语笑话 -
那些妙趣横生的英语幽默故事110：现在几点了？
那些妙趣横生的英语幽默故事What time is it now? 现在几点了？ The two boys were camping in the backyard. when they couldn't figure out...
2018-10-31 英语笑话 -
英语幽默 -A Wet Whisper
A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to...
2019-03-19 英语笑话 -
英文笑话:A Cigars and Insurance
A Charlotte， NC， man having purchased a case of very rare， very expensive cigars insured them against fire among other things. Within a month， having smoked his entire stockpile of cigars and with...
2018-12-26 英语笑话 -
Isn't it wonderful?
"What are you so happy about?"a woman asked the 98-year-old man. "I broke a mirror," he replied. "But that means seven years of bad luck." "I know." he said, beaming,"Isn't it wonderf...
2018-12-07 英语笑话
