见识一下上海乞丐的英语口语
星期五的下午5点，他在浦东机场下了飞机。友人告诉他，最好搭磁浮列车，因为这时候的上海，每一条大小马路都铁定塞车。
于是他搭了磁浮列车到了龙扬站，再转地铁到人民广场站，从万豪饭店方向走出地铁站。
一切看来都很顺利，前后花不到一个小时，他很庆幸自己听了友人的忠告，也为自己的英明决策感到些许的自豪，他想，这下子应该赶得上友人的晚餐约会。
他拖着行李，准备拦辆出租车，这才发现上海周五傍晚的出租车严重缺货。更要命的是，他拦了半天找不到出租车，反而让自己长时间曝露在街头的“危险地带”，因而招来好几个男男女女向他逼近。
他紧张得手心直冒汗，不知道接下来会发生什么事，这一身西装革履外加大行李的扮相，连白痴都看得出来是外地人。但是人家不都说上海的治安全中国第一好吗？他开始放眼搜寻，准备伺机向公安或路人求救。
“先生，给点钱买块面包呗！”一个看来年纪五十开外的大娘首先发难，她哑着嗓子，好像声带里卡满了灰尘，音质中透着悲情哀戚。
他很想掏个零钱让她随便买点什么，至少可以让自己安心的叫出租车。但是又看到她身后那一列准备排队进攻的人龙，他急了，觉得自己应该想个办法来脱身。
“Sorry，I don't know how to speak Chinese（抱歉，我不懂中文）”他想到自己曾经用这招来摆脱台北街头的皮条客，那些皮条客总是一听到英文就吓得变哑巴闪人。
他故技重施，内心为自己的机智反应暗暗自豪，难怪人家都说聪明是天生的。
“No Problem，I can speak English，give me money，I'm hungry.（没问题，我会说英文，给我钱，我肚子饿了）”一听到他说英文，大娘立刻变成自动翻译机，切换成英语频道，而且发音比他标准还押韵，让他强烈怀疑她在联合国当过英文通译。
他呆了，马上一脸苍白表情，顾不得一身的重装，拖着行李在上海街头拔腿狂奔，这下子，他终于知道上海这城市有多竞争了，连乞丐的英文都如此流利。
乞丐 英语 口语本文地址：http://www.dioenglish.com/writing/humor/47129.html
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