外国最新英语幽默笑话精粹241：关于降落伞(中英)
You are one of two people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute.
你是一架失控飞机上两名乘客中的一名，现在只有一个降落伞。
Pessimist: you refuse the parachute because you might die in the jump anyway.
悲观主义者:你拒绝使用降落伞，因为即使你跳下去也会死。
Optimist: you refuse the parachute because people have survived jumps just like this before.
乐观主义者:你拒绝使用降落伞，因为曾经有人不用降落伞跳下去也能活。
Procrastinator: you play a game of Monopoly for the parachute.
慢性子:你玩一盘强手棋来决定是否拿降落伞。
Lawyer: you charge the airline for one parachute.
律师:因为只有一个降落伞，你要控诉航空公司。
Doctor: you need to run more tests，and then take the parachute.
医生:在你拿降落伞以前你要仔细的检查多遍。
Sales executive: you sell the parachute at top retail rates and get the names of the other guy’s friends and relatives who might like one too.
销售代表:你以最高的零售价把降落伞卖给另一个人，然后要来他的亲戚朋友的名字，问他们是否也想要一个。
Internal Revenue Service: you confiscate the parachute along with the other guy’s luggage and wallet.
国内税收员:你把降落伞连同另一个人的行李和钱包一起没收。
Advertiser: you sing that what he need is a neon parachute with computer altimeter for only $39. 99.
广告商:你唱出他们需要的是一个尼龙降落伞和一个电脑高度计，只卖三十九点九九美元。
Engineer; you make him another parachute out of aisle curtains and dental floss.
工程师:你用走廊的窗帘和牙线为另一个人再做一个降落伞。
Scientist: you give him the parachute and ask him to send you a report on how well it worked.
科学家:你把降落伞给另一个人，然后叫他们寄给你一份降落伞怎样工作的报告。
Mathematician: you refuse to accept the parachute without proof that it will work in all cases.
数学家:如果不能证明降落伞在任何情况下都能正常使用你拒绝使用降落伞。
Philosopher: you ask how he knows the parachute actually exists.
哲学家:你问另一个人降落伞他怎么知道降落伞确实存在。
English Teacher; you explicate simile and metaphor in the parachute instructions.
英语老师:你会在降落伞的说明书里找出哪里是明喻哪里是暗喻。
Comparative Literature: you read the parachute instructions in all four languages.
比较文学学者:你会通读降落伞说明上的四种语言。
Computer Scientist: you design a machine capable of operating a parachute as well as a human being could.
电脑专家:你会设计一个能和人一样操纵降落伞的机器。
Psychoanalyst: you ask him what the shape of a parachute reminds him of.
心理医生:你会问另一个人降落伞的形状会让他想起什么。
Artist: you hang the parachute on the wall and sign it.
艺术家:你会把降落伞挂在墙上，然后在上面签上名字。
Libertarian: after reminding him of his constitutional right to have a parachute，you take it and jump out.
自由论者:你会提醒另一个人他拥有宪法赋予的拿降落伞的权利，然后你拿起来跳出去。
Surgeon General: you issue a warning that skydiving can be hazardous to your health.
外科医生:你会提出跳伞运动有害健康的警告。
National Rifle Association: you shoot him and take the parachute.
国家枪械协会会员:你开枪打死另一个人然后拿走降落伞。
Police Bigot: you beat him unconscious with the parachute.
顽固的警察:你会用降落伞打得另一个人不省人事。
Environmentalist: you refuse to use the parachute unless it is biodegradable.
环保主义者:除非能证明降落伞是生物可分解的，否则你拒绝使用降落伞。
Sports Fan: you start betting on how long it will take to crash.
体育迷:你开始打赌飞机多长时间会坠毁。
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