那些妙趣横生的英语幽默故事20：女人，不能说的秘密
那些妙趣横生的英语幽默故事
Women's secrets
女人，不能说的秘密
Women especially love a bargain．
女人特别喜欢便宜货。 Women love to shop.It is the only area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control．
女人喜欢购物。她们觉得那是她们在这个世界上唯一能控制的领域。
Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to圳it，even if they have nothing to say．
女人喜欢交谈。沉默使她们不安，她们需要用交谈打破沉默，即使她们没什么可说的。
Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are．
女人需要感觉到别人不如她们.
Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp in tolved．
女人讨厌虫子。当看到一只蜘蛛或黄蜂时，即使意志力很强的女人也需要一个男人在身旁.
Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip．
女人经常结伴去公共卫生间. 这是她们八卦的好机会。
Women think all beer is the same．
女人觉得所有品牌的啤酒都是一个味儿。
Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape realitY. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be．
女人不能领略体育节目的魅力。男人从那些能让他们逃离现实的东西中寻找娱乐，女人则从那些能提醒她们现实有多糟糕 的东西中寻找娱乐。
Women are paid less than men’except for one field Modeling．
女人的薪水比男人低，只有一个行业例外——模特。
Women do not know anything about cars’eVen if theY drivea car themselves．
女人对汽军一无所知，即使她们自己开车。
Women love to talk on the phone.A woman can visit her girl friend for two weeks,and upon returning home,sheWill call the same friend and they will talk for three hours．
女人喜欢煲电话粥.一个女人去看她的女朋友，她们一起生活了两个 星期，她刚刚回家便会给这个女朋友打电话，然后会聊上3个小时。
Women do not want an honest answer to the question, "How do I look ?"
在¨我看上去怎么样？n这个问题上，女人不想得到诚实的答案。
“Oh, nothing，has an entirely different meaning in woman—language than it does in man-language．
"哦，没什么。 “这句话在女人的字典里的意思和在男人字典里的完全不同。
All women will say that they are overweight,but don't agree with them about it．
所有女人都会说自己超重，但千万别对此表示赞同。
Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.
面对超速行驶的罚单，噘嘴可以使女人免于处罚，却会使男人被拘留。 Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary.
女人并不真的在乎男人是否有幽默感，尽管她们声称幽默感很重要。
Women will spend hours dressing up to go out,and then they'II go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other
men: women will always catch men checking out other women。
女人在出门前花费数小时化妆，然后她们出门，花更 多时间注视其他女人。男人永远不会察觉女人注视着其他男 人，而女人总能抓住男人注视着其他女人。
The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party．
最让女人尴尬的就是在一个正式的聚会上，发现另一个女人穿着和自己同样的衣服.
单词＆词组
bargain 协定：便宜的东西
intimidate 胁迫；威迫
strong-willed 意志坚强的，固执已见的
gossip 闲话，闲谈
pout 撅嘴，绷脸
humor 幽默，心情，诙谐
contrary （性质、方向或意义上）相反的
check out 付账后离开（旅馆）；查实；了解
embarrassed 尴尬的，窘迫的
知道不知道
如何用英语骂女人
She is so neurotic and you can't imagine what she did to my cat.
她太神经质了，你想不到她对我的猫咪都干了些什么。
You are absolutely a disgrace of a human being．你真是人类的耻辱。（其实这句话的听众不只女性，男人同样也没问题）The bitch is back! 该死，又来了！（这句话也是Elton John与Bernie Taupin创作的一支非常著名的单曲。灵感来自Taupin的妻子，当时几个人正讨论Caribou专辑，但是突然间Elton John郡传说中的爆脾气又来了，他大发无名火，惹得Taupin的老婆直呼"the bitch is back”)
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