第1352期 英语笑话：脱口笑话精选 啤酒聚会三
"Sarah Palin resigned a year-and-a-half before her term ends because she didn't want Alaska to have a lame-duck governor. Now, she has a book deal presumed to be worth millions. And I cannot wait to read it. I believe on the tenth page, she decides since the book is going to end anyway, to leave the last two hundred pages blank." -Stephen Colbert
莎拉·佩林在她任职期满的前一年半辞职了，因为她说她不想让阿拉斯加有一个跛脚鸭州长。现在，她有一份价值上百万美元的出书生意。我等不及要读这本书了，我相信在第十页她会决定，这本书反正都会写完，就把剩下的两百页留白好了。——斯蒂芬·科尔伯特"If conservatives get to call universal healthcare 'socialized medicine,' I get to call private, for-profit healthcare 'soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.'" --Bill Maher
如果保守主义者把全民医保叫做“社会化医疗”，我就把私人的、营利的医疗叫做“没心肝的，依托于人类痛苦赚钱的吸血鬼。”——比尔·马赫
"Big news up in Alaska. Sarah Palin will formally step down as governor on Sunday, leaving us completely unprotected from the Russians." --Jimmy Kimmel
阿拉斯加的大消息啊，莎拉·佩林周日正式下台了。留下我们在俄罗斯人面前毫无防备。——吉米·卡莫
"Members of the Senate are considering a tax on cosmetic surgery. When they brought it up, you should have seen the look that Nancy Pelosi's face tried to make." --Conan O'Brien
参议员的成员们正在考虑对整容征税，当他们提起这件事的时候，你真应该看看南希·佩洛西想做出的表情。——柯南·奥布莱恩
"Opponents of President Obama's healthcare plan point out that people in other countries sometimes have to wait in line for healthcare, which Americans would never accept. Here, we only wait in line for stuff that's important, like iPhones and "Grand Theft Auto 4." --Jimmy Kimmel
奥巴马总统医疗计划的反对者们指出其他国家的人有时不得不排队看病，这是美国人民不能接受的。在美国，咱们只为一些重要的东西排队，比如iphone和侠盗猎车手4.——吉米·卡莫
"Yesterday, of course, on Fox News commentator Glenn Beck said that he believes President Obama is a racist. Well, to be fair, every time you watch Glenn Beck, it does get a little easier to hate white people." --Conan O'Brien
昨天，当然是在福克斯新闻台，新闻评论员格伦·贝克说他认为奥巴马总统是个种族主义者。好吧，公平点说，你每看格伦·贝克一次，就很容易更讨厌白人一点。——柯南·奥布莱恩
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