外国最新英语幽默笑话精粹61：三个修道士 (中英)
There were three pious monks. These monks were so pious，in fact，that the head abbot decided one day to reward their devotion by granting them each one day of sin，on the condition that they confess their activities to him at the end of the day.
有三个虔诚的修道士，他们非常的虔诚，以至于修道院院长决定，在他们愿意交待一天的所作所为的条件下，允许他们每个人犯一回戒，以示对他们虔诚的奖励。
So，the day come，and the three monks went off into the night to indulge in all manner of sin.
所以，当这天夜色来临的时候三个修道土就趁着夜色下山去犯戒去了。
The first monk sauntered in at 1:00 in the morning, and tried to sneak upstairs to bed. But the head abbot，who was waiting up for the three，stopped him and demanded that he relate his doings.
第一个修道士在凌晨一点的时候悄悄地回来了，他想偷偷的上楼睡觉去，但是正在等待三人的院长叫住了他，问他都干了什么。
"No, head abbot，”the first monk said，"it’s too evil for me to admit!”
“没干什么，院长”，第一个修道士说，“对于我来说那太坏了，我不能说出来!”
"'The deal was for you to tell me everything you did，otherwise you will not receive absolution!” said the abbot.
“说好的，你告诉我所有你千的事情，否则不能免你的罪!”院长说。
So the first monk agreed to tell what he did. "I-I-I drank! And I did all manner of drugs! And 1 smoked marijuana, cocaine and. . .”
第一个修道士就同意说出他干了什么。“我，我，我喝酒了!我吸了各种各样的毒品!我吸了大麻、可卡因、还有……”
"Enough!”said the head abbot，enraged. "Those are evil sins, but I promised to forgive you. Go out back，drink some Holy Water, say some prayers and you will be forgiven in the morning.”
“够了!”院长生气地说，“那些太罪过了，但是我曾许诺原谅你，回去喝一些圣水，然后祈祷，早上就会被原谅的。”
The first monk thankfully went off to follow the abbot’s instructions.
第一个修道士感激地走了，他去按照院长的指示去做了。
The second monk wandered in at 2:00 AM. "What did you do last night?" demanded the head abbot.
第二个修道士在凌晨两点的时候回来。“你昨晚做了什么?”院长问。
"I can’t say! It's much too evil!”
“我不能说!那太罪恶了!”
"The agreement was that you must tell me everything you did!”
“我们说好的，你必须告诉我!”
"Okay，”agreed the second monk." I had all kinds of meat. l had port，beef ,chicken，horse,and even a dog...”
“好吧”，第二个修道士说，“我吃了各种各样的肉。有猪肉、牛肉、鸡肉、马肉、甚至还吃了狗肉……”
Enough!” cried the head abbot. "That is a truly great sin. But I promised to give you absolution. Go out back and drink some Holy Water. “Then say some prayers and you will be forgiven in the morning.”
“够了!”院长大叫道:“那真是太罪过了。但是我曾许诺原谅你。回去喝一些圣水，然后祈祷，早上就会被原谅的。”
The second monk sauntered off to do just that.
第二个修道士按照院长所说的去做了。
And the third and final monk crawled in at 3:00 in the morning.
第三个修道士最终在凌晨三点的时候回来了。
"What ," asked the head abbot, "did you do this evening?"
院长问:“你昨晚干了什么?”
"No, head abbot, it's too great a sin to admit. I cannot tell!"
“不，院长，那太罪恶了，我不能说!”
"The agreement, monk! You must tell me!"
“修道士，别忘了我们事先说好的。你必须告诉我!”
The third monk bowed his head and nodded. "All right, head abbot. Last night I…I…"
第三个修道士低下他的头说:“好吧院长，我说，昨天晚上我，我……”
"Yes?"
“怎么样了?”
"I pissed in the Holy Water."
“我在圣水里撒了尿!”
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