Romeo & Juliet 搞笑版剧本
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Romeo and Juliet 第一幕旁白:A few centuries ago, Shakespeare style of writing Romeo affected with the love story of the Juliet how much person of state of mind. Now, they have again how of situation?欧:The fresh flowers represent my purely true heart. 奥:Stop disgusting, now it is the 21st centuries, as long as you have money, all girls will follow you.欧: You were wrong, Romao. The mankind's affection is sincere and noble, the money and fame can't compare with it. 奥: Is this your naïve idea? 欧:No, it is the truth of the world! 奥:What? The truth needs to be proved by practicing. Let’s have a bet to see your Juliet exactly choose your flowers or my money. 欧:(刚要开口)奥:Let’s go, Propose toward the Juliet!第二幕场景:朱丽叶家门口,罗密欧敲门。 (朱丽花登场,随手带着小凳.) 花: Coming, who is it? (站上小凳,作隔门观望状) 欧:奥 : (同声)It’s me, Romeo. 花: Slowly, who is Romeo? 欧:奥 : (同声)I am. 花:咦 , Why have two Romeo? You seek whom? 欧:奥 : (同声)I wish to see Juliet. 花: do what? 欧:奥 : (同声)I want to propose toward her. 花: (忽然扮作很娇弱的样子)do you want to propose toward me? So ……What did you take?欧:Juliet, I am Romeo who is your previous lover died with you. This present life, please promise me to propose. (捧上鲜花)r奥:Juliet, The diamond represents my faithful heart, Please promise to be my bride! (拿出)花:How pretty diamond! (跳下小凳,急忙开门)欧:Why is a little girl? (惊讶!) 奥:My God, I don't want to cheat a little girl! (夸张似的以手掩额) 花:What little girl? I was already an adult, understanding love early is what. (以“卡门”的音乐衬底,朱丽花作卡门式亮相 唱:爱情,就像是一场追逐的交易,没有什么了不起。男人,就像普通的玩意儿,最重要的是money!)花: I am the younger sister of the Juliet, Julie-flower! 欧: (有点受不了)younger sister, we seek your elder sister, where is she? 花: (生气)哼, You see, I am the flower of my family; all people at home listen to me. So …(作要钱的手势)欧: (不甘失败,不顾奥的阻止,焦急地说)younger sister, ask your elder sister to come out. 花: (一脸的不高兴)哼, the elder sister isn't at home.奥 : (嘲笑)since Juliet isn't in, let's go back. See you again, small money-mad. 欧: (失望地,只好和罗密奥一起下台。)叶: (上场)sister, who are you talking with? 花:Hum, two fools. 叶: (探头而望,忽然看见欧的身影正走下台)Isn't that Romeo? Romeo, Romeo!! 花: don't recall them, they have walked away. 叶:Good younger sister, why does Romeo take a risk to come?花:哼, come to propose toward you! 叶: What? Does Romeo come to propose toward me? why don't you call me to come out?花:Wanting to be my brother-in-law, can’t love purse. 根: what’s the matter? 朱母:What are you fighting? 草:Just hear you are calling Romeo? 花:(开始挑拨)hum, elder brother, enemy has come, but you are in your room.草:What? Does Romeo dare to come to our house? 花:And he wants to propose toward elder sister.草:What? If let me see him, I shoot him to death! (义愤填膺的,拿枪的手式)根: How does he still have courage to propose? Juliet had supplied to LIFT especially. 叶:(依偎着母亲,向母亲求情)朱母:But daughter’s beloved is Romeo! 根:Nothing to say, all return to house.第三幕(灯光全熄)(搬上作为阳台的桌了)(仅开一盏灯照着朱丽叶的阳台) 音乐:《月光》旁白:这夜,幽冷的月光淡淡的照在朱丽时叶那扇漆木的小阳台上,微风吹动着院内的树影,也搅动朱丽叶那紊乱的心湖。叶: (忧愁地踱上台,站上桌子)Romeo, only wish you were not Romeo! (音乐停) 欧: (上台听到朱丽叶的心声)Juliet, Juliet, why are you Juliet. 奥 :Juliet, Juliet. 叶:Oh, Romeo, why have two Romeo? 欧:Juliet, "Do not take an oath toward the changeable moon, because our love will not change." I am your Romeo. 奥:Juliet, I will not let you suffer from poverty and hardship, and I will let you enjoy leisure and wealth.欧:My Juliet ah, I can’t guarantee you comfortable, but I will share everything with you. For richer or poorer, my heart will never change. 叶:Is this the God to test me? My Romeo will not show up wealth and honor, because he is just my treasure.奥 :The real love is really classic and precious. Juliet. Romeo, I bless you(下场) 欧:Juliet, I really don’t know how to express my joy, you...Would you like to marry to me? 叶:Even though betraying my family, I am also willing to, Romeo, walk quickly, someone coming, see you again, my lover! 欧:See you again, Juliet(边说边向后台退去)good-bye, my bride. (乐停)(灯熄)第四幕人物:提伯尔特•安妮。(《月光》) 旁白: The moonlight of the deadly pale looks down the earth, the thick forest covers another pair of lovers. 提伯尔特:(在台前犹豫着,愁眉深锁,最终还是狠下心说)Annie, I want to get married. 安妮: (羞涩含情地)why so worried?提伯尔特: No, Annie. My parents let me hurry up to get married with Juliet.(乐停)安妮: What! (受大打击)(配音乐:晴天霹雳)提伯尔特: Annie, Annie! (惶恐地扶着安妮)安妮:, I am really silly, I know early you have already betrothed with Juliet, can I still have a fascistic idea. (哭)提伯尔特:Annie, you just are my favorite! 安妮So, why.. . 提伯尔特: Because of the relationship between two families, I have no option. 安妮:I hear who Juliet loves is Romeo, how can you get married with her? 提伯尔特: For resolving this problem, I agree with Romeo to duel outside city tomorrow. 安妮:What? (再次受到打击,欲倒,提急忙扶持) 提伯尔特:I know it’s very absurd, but under the pressure of the family, I have to take a risk. 安妮:(哭音)Can you not duel? 提伯尔特: If I win, I can request the family to let me get married with you. 安妮: In case ... 提伯尔特: For you, I have to go. (坚定地望着观众) 安妮:(伤心地望了提一眼,拭泪跑下台)提伯尔特: Annie, Annie ... (追下)第五幕旁白: The whistling breeze curls up the dust of the suburb wilderness the second day, two knights arrive at the battlefield. (提伯尔特,朱丽草和罗密欧分别从两边上场,手拿手枪,表情冷酷)提伯尔特:You are Romeo? 欧: yes, I am Romeo. 提伯尔特; So you should be clear, only defending me, you can marry Juliet. 欧:With the love of Juliet, I would win! (向观众) 草:Kill him at once.(冲动的,几乎拔剑出鞘) 提伯尔特: (按住朱丽草拿剑的手)please give a fair verdict between me and Romeo! 草: (看向提,考虑后慎重地点头)提伯尔特:Let’s start. (提与欧走到台中,面向而站,枝面向观众站其后)草:Good, begin! (提与欧背向背,各走五步,回身向对方开枪,枪响,罗密欧应声而倒) 叶: (忽然从后台奔出,抱住罗密欧)Romeo! 欧:……Juliet……(罗密欧向朱丽叶伸手,无力垂下,闭上眼睛)(音乐《罗密欧与朱丽叶》) 叶:Romeo! (哭!)Why, why can be this! (拿起罗的手枪与徇情, 众人惊呼,枪被罗密奥夺下) 奥: Juliet, don’t do such silly matter! (这时,罗密欧微张开眼) 叶:……, Romeo! Romeo! (泪痕满面,但仍惊喜)提伯尔特: (这时才走出来说)Juliet, please trust me, I don't want to kill him. 奥 : are you O.K.? 花: (犹带哭腔)sorry, sister, all blame me to make so many matters. (对欧)brother-in-law, can you forgive me? 根: (在朱母催促下)Romeo, we can't break up you again, the grudge almost brings about a big disaster again !草: (狠下决心,把妹妹的手放在罗密欧手上)my younger sister hand over to you!
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