手机版
  • joke(5)
      热与冷  蒙特利尔自助餐厅的一位顾客拧开盥洗室的龙头,结果被水烫伤了。“这太可恶了,”他抱怨道,“标着C的龙头流出的是开水。”  “可是,先生,C代表Chaude-法语里代表'热'.如果您居住在蒙特利尔的话就得知道...
  • joke(6)
      兵的高招  由于生意方面的事,罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急,他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时,他喜欢靠窗坐,故而一登机,他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗...
  • joke(7)
      新发现  一个乡下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走进一座大楼,看见一个岁数很大的矮胖女人迈进一个小房间。房间的门随后关上,有几个灯在闪亮。一会儿,门开了,电梯里走出一位年青漂亮的女模特。  乡下人惊奇地眨着...
  • joke(8)
      一个坏印象  有六个人搭乘火车旅行,坐在同一车箱内。其中五个很安静,也很规矩。但第六个是个粗鲁的年轻人,给其他乘客招惹了许多麻烦。  最后,这位年轻人在一个车站带着两个沉重的皮箱下了车。没有一个旅客帮...
  • joke(9)
      安眠药  鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生,医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。  星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药,睡得很好,在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室,遛达进去,对老板说:“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。”  “好啊!”...
  • joke(10)
      催 单  我是一家兽医站的技师。当动物到了该注射疫苗的时候,我们就寄出催单。一条德国物质牧羊犬布鲁诺来做每年一次的狂犬疫苗注射。我们依照州法律的要求询问他的主人,在过去的十天里布鲁诺是否咬了什么人...
  • joke(11)
      模仿鸟儿  一个人想在一个舞台剧中找份工作。“你能干什么呢?”负责人问。  “模仿鸟儿,”那人说。  “你在开玩笑吧?”负责人答道,“那样的人一毛钱可以找一打。”  “噢,那就算了。”那名演员说着,展开翅...
  • joke(12)
      你是怎样来的?  一个冬天的早晨,一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。“外面太滑了,我每向前迈一步,就要向后退两步。”  老板狐疑地看着他。“噢,是吗?那你是怎样到这里来的?”  “后来我决定放...
  • joke(13)
      三个外科医生  三个有名的外科医生正在吹嘘他们的技术。“一个人断了一只手,他来找我,”一个说,“如今那个人是个音乐会的小提琴手。”  “这算不了什么,”另一个说。“一个家伙两条腿断了,他来找我,我将它们接...
  • joke(14)
      一面之辞  一位法官问我们这群修补陪审员是否有人应当免权。一个人举起了手。  “我的左耳听不见。”那人告诉法官。  “你的右边耳朵听得见吗?”法官问道。那人点了点头。  “你将被允许加入陪审团,”...
  • joke(15)
      走私犯  一个形迹可疑的人开车来到边境,哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在检查汽车行李箱时,惊奇地发现了六个接缝处鼓得紧绷绷的大口袋。  “里面装的是什么?”他问道。  “土。”司机回答。  “把袋子拿出来”,哨兵...
  • joke(16)
      采购过早  那天是圣诞节,法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉?”他问。  “采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。  “这不算犯法,”法官回答,“你购物多早?”  在商店开门之前,“犯人应道。  ...
  • joke(17)
      翅 膀  一天,我工作的炸鸡店在关门前出现了一阵抢购狂潮,结果除了鸡翅外所有的东西都卖完了。当我正准备锁门时,一名喝醉了的旅客进来要进餐。我问他翅膀行不行,他从柜台上靠过身子来,回答道:“女士,我到这儿来是...
  • joke(18)
    Keep the Change Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was ove...
  • Family Joke(66)
      “So”,thundered Larry‘s furious father,“you’ve been expelled from college,have you?  “Yes,Dad. I am a fugitive from a brain gang.”更多 英语笑话、英语小笑话、英文笑话、英语幽默小故事,请继续关...
  • Family Joke(67)
      A friend said to a friend“Money makes enemies,money makes worry. So being your friend I can‘t see you worry. So please send all your money to MY ACCOUNT.更多 英语笑话、英语小笑话、英文笑话、...
  • Family Joke(68)
      One day this guy had trouble with his blinkers on his car. So another guy comes and says,“Is there a problem with your car sir”,yes there is. So he says can you see if my blinkers work,sure. Th...
  • Family Joke(69)
      “Do you obtain good SAT results?”asked the father of a prospective pupil.“Oh,indeed we do,”said the Principal of the expensive private school.“We guarantee satisfaction or we return the stud...
  • Family Joke(70)
      “Dad,the career counselor said that with a mind like mine I should study criminal law.”  “That is wonderful,son. I‘m proud of you.”  “He said I had a criminal mind.”更多 英语笑话、英...
  • Family Joke(71)
      Children would all be brought up perfectly if families would just swap kids. Everyone knows what ought to be done with the neighbor‘s kids.更多 英语笑话、英语小笑话、英文笑话、英语幽默小故事,...
  • Farmer Joke(1)
      Two men were walking through the woods and came upon a big black,deep hole. One man picked up a rock and tossed it into the hole and stood listening for the rock to hit bottom. There was no sou...
  • Farmer Joke(2)
      An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily,a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled,“Pull,Nellie...
  • Farmer Joke(3)
      This farmer had a wife who nagged him all the time. One day while he was outside plowing the field,she came out and started nagging him. While she was doing this,the mule kicked her and she died...
  • Farmer Joke(4)
      John was driving his pickup down a country lane when suddenly a chicken darts out into the road in front of him. He‘s just about to slam on his brakes to avoid the chicken when he realizes th...
  • joke(19)
      太有礼貌  一名妇女经常光顾一家小古董店,但几乎从不买什么东西,却总是对商品和价格吹毛求疵。对于那妇女的粗暴抱怨,经理和她的销售员总是应付了事,但是有一天她做得太过分了。“为什么你们店里总是不能得到我...